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Book Update

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 2, 2013

in Blog Business

This is a repost of the update on the Kickstarter page for the Cranky Product Management book. 

This post is mostly bad news, with a tiny bit of good news.

Bad News First

First, the bad news:  Like most 1.0 products created by a completely inexperienced development team, the schedule for this book has officially slipped. Significantly.

The Cranky Product Manager is now estimating May for electronic, June for printed.  She apologizes most sincerely about this delay.

There are many reasons why the schedule has slipped, but the main one is that she grossly under-estimated the time needed to write a book that she was proud of and would (hopefully) contribute something just a little new to the field of Product Management.

The Cranky Product Manager sincerely hopes that you will forgive this schedule slip.  But if you are furious, she will give you a refund.  Just email her; she has not spent your money yet.

Good News

Now, for the tiny bit of good news.  When the Cranky PM originally pitched this book, she said it would be 75-80% recycled blog posts, 20-25% new content.  That was very wrong. There is going to be WAY more new content now.  More like 75% new content, 25% old.  (Thus, the schedule slip).

Why so much new content?  Well, the Cranky PM looked at her old posts and realized that many of them no longer reflect the way she thinks about or does product management anymore. So much has changed in our field in the last 4 years.   Plus, she felt the need to tie it all together into a more comprehensive “framework” (for lack of a better word, because she really hates the word “framework”).

New Content Teasers

So, here are some teasers for the new content:

1.  Everything the Cranky Product Manager Thought She Knew Was Wrong.  Well, maybe not EVERYTHING: the CPM still knows for a fact whose fault the Sequester is and that “Lincoln” should have won the Oscar. But she was, in fact, incorrect about one HUGE thing. Like many Product Managers, for half her career the CPM thought the core competence of Product Management was in gathering and writing requirements/user stories/use cases. Turns out she was wrong. Very wrong.

2. The Cranky One’s First Encounter with a Product Manager.  Way back when, the Cranky One was a junior software engineer: hacking code 7 days a week, usually around midnight. So much fun! That is, until she met this MBA-laden twit who called himself a Product Manager. Of HER product, no less. Boy, was HE annoying.

3. The Game of Life: Product Management Edition  (yep, a board game)

4. How the Cranky Product Manager ended up in Product Management and why she became cranky. This wicked sordid tale starts in the “accent belt” lodged between Routes 128 and 495, meanders through a variety of professions, bad choices, disastrous professional experiences, educational detours, co-founder spats and lawsuits, and finally ends up in Silicon Valley product work.

5. Market Research on the Cheap. For most of her career, the Cranky PM heard how “real” market research was ridiculously expensive and of too limited value for product work on sophisticated software products.  She even wrote a post about it.  But SO much has changed in the last 2-3 years, it now seems nuts NOT to do some cheapo market research.

6. How to get non-customers to talk to you without throwing up.  Let’s face it, most product managers are (slightly) introverted.  If they loved contacting complete strangers and asking them for favors, they’d be in a line of work that pays better (such as Software SALES).  This is why the majority of PMs completely neglect to interview market-representative non-customers for market problems, feedback, etc.
Begging strangers to talk to you SUCKS!  The Cranky Product Manager would rather purge her inbox, file her taxes, and change the world’s most repugnant diaper. But you gotta do it, so here are some tips.

7. The Biggest Time Wasters for Product Managers.  Some of them are obvious (meetings, email) and some are sacred cows (tune in to find out!).  Some people will probably get upset.

8. How to get Developers to Listen to You: A WICKED AWESOME FLOWCHART!

9. “Growth Hackers” and Other Douchebags. Is the nouveau term “growth hacker” just a way for self-aggrandizing, medicore coders to become product managers without hating themselves?

10. Steven Blank, Bite Me.  Yes, Steven Blank is a genius and the grandfather of the Lean Startup “movement” and all that. He gives out ephiphanies and has profoundly changed the way software startups operate for the better.  But he is also a bit of a Product Management Hater, seeing us as “process makers” that are only needed at mature companies. So the Cranky Product Manager hates him back. Just a little.

{ 8 comments }

Need your feedback on the forthcoming CrankyPM book – what do you want me to write about?

by The Cranky Product Manager on September 5, 2012

in Blog Business

As posted earlier, the Cranky PM’s Kickstarter to write a book (tentative title: Product Management the Cranky Way) has been funded – we’re now at 133% of our original funding  goal.  The Kickstarter ends in a mere THREE DAYS, so act quickly if you haven’t already.

“Yeah!” thought the Cranky Product Manager, “I’m so happy!  They LIKE me, they really, really LIKE me!”

followed by….

“Crap.  Now I actually HAVE to write a freakin’ book instead of just FANTASIZING about it.”

============================

OK, dear readers.   The Cranky Product Manager is looking forward to writing this book as her blogging swan song. After this, she’s committing blog suicide and ending this blog.  The overall goal here is not to produce the authoritative tome on how to perform every activity in product management.  Instead, the Cranky Product Manager wants to provide pragmatic advice about how to cut through the bullshit, get stuff done, and make your products big successes.  (Don’t worry, snark will be abundant, as will comics, cranky “best of” tweets, and product haiku).

But she NEEDS YOUR HELP.  Please provide some feedback in the comments,.

1. PLEASE VOTE FOR THREE OF THE FOLLOWING TOPICS

TOPIC 1.  Be Careful What You Wish For: What is product management, is it for you, and how to break in?

TOPIC 2.  A 30-day plan to become a wicked awesome product manager.  day-by-day guide (if you are new to PM or just in a new job at a new company)

TOPIC 3.  You’re the Hub, here’s how to deal with the spokes.  How PMs can better work with other functions in the company. The archetypes you’ll see, their POV about product management, what they want from you, and what you need from them.

A.  CodeBoyz and CodeGrrls

B. SalesDroids

C. Marketing Geniuses

D. Executives

E. Customers & Prospects

F. Outside Influencers – analysts, the press, etc.

E: Other insiders: professional services, support, etc.

TOPIC 4.  What PMs do all damn day, and how to do it better:

interviewing customers, personas, market validation, requirements, user stories,  designing roadmaps, product lifecycle management, beta testing,   (WARNING: this might be far too much content for one book), product launces, pricing, product positioning

TOPIC 5. On Agile Product Management

TOPIC 6: Moving up and on.  How to advance your career as a PM,  how to manage other product managers, and progress your career within or beyond product management.

TOPIC 7:  Write-in.  What do you want to learn about?

2.  PLEASE ANSWER: WHAT ARE THE THREE BIGGEST QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ABOUT PRODUCT MANAGEMENT?

The ones the Cranky Product Manager has been asked most often include 1) How do I get into Product Management?, 2) Do I need an MBA?, and 3) How do I do product pricing?  But WHAT ELSE?

3. ANY OTHER ADVICE OR  THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE?

 

 

 

{ 60 comments }

It’s On: Support the Kickstarter for the book “Product Management, the Cranky Way”

by The Cranky Product Manager on July 26, 2012

in Blog Business

In the comments of the last post, a whole slew of you said you’d support the CrankyPM in writing her first and last book: Product Management, the Cranky Way.

Well, now it’s time to DWYSYWD.

Get over to Kickstarter and make a suitable pledge!  DO IT! DO IT!

(Alas, you have to create a Kickstarter account first, and if you are one of the few people in the world who has not ever purchased anything from Amazon, you will have to create an Amazon account as well.)

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/crankypm/book-product-management-the-cranky-way/‘

Read more details about what will be in the book, what the Cranky PM needs the money for, etc.

She needs to raise $5,000 to even move forward (because it will cost about $7000 total, and she can’t kick in more than $2000 from her own funds – any more than that and she’d be robbing the Cranky Kids’ college funds).

You will see that there are many, many rewards/perks available for high-value contributions. T-SHIRTS. MUGS. A CHANCE TO MEET THE CRANKYPM IN PERSON.  For all you various training firms and vendors of PM software, why not take out an ad in the back of the book, high school yearbook-style?

Let’s get this party started, shall we?

The Cranky PM would appreciate your support in getting the word out.

Seriously, thanks.

This would be a great way to wrap up this blog in a pretty bow, and to then move on with life. Thanks so much for your support and for your virtual camaraderie all these years.

 

{ 12 comments }

A Cranky Book? (and sunset time)

by The Cranky Product Manager on July 2, 2012

in Blog Business

The Bad News: End of Days

OK, first the bad news.  By year end, the Cranky Product Manager is planning to shut down this entire show: blog, twitter, facebook, pinterest everything.  *poof* gone, deleted.  Even if the Mayans were wrong about that end of world thing.

Why? No time. The author of this blog has a real-life business to grow and a flesh-and-bones family to raise.  Plus, since the author of this blog is not ACTUALLY very cranky anymore (though she was when she started this blog), it is pretty draining to get the “crank on” to write posts/tweets or whatever.

Likely, everything will deleted, not just left up in perpetuity without new activity. Why? Because the author has TOO often gotten her “real life” identity confused with the crankypm one and tweeted/posted/updated/pinned from the wrong account.  Which causes panic and stress.  Plus she feels CATHOLIC GUILT at having defunct identities all over the place. Plus the blog costs actual money to run, and defunct blogs don’t attract advertising.

(CAVEAT: Maybe she’ll keep the pinterest board, since that is so easy to maintain, and the author is not yet using it in real life).

The Possibly(?) Good News: A Book

The author of this blog is CONSIDERING writing a “Cranky Product Manager’s Practical Guide for the Product Manager” book.  (that’s a “working title”).

If at least 50 people comment on this post (or email), saying that they’d do a kickstarter pledge for $20+, then I’ll proceed to the Kickstarter App (that thing is a lot of work!).

(The Cranky PM is not trying to get rich here or anything.  It’s just that writing a book is a lot of work and she’d have to hire a babysitter (or pay Bumble Cafe a boatload of money) to free up some more time for writing.  Plus, since the Cranky PM  is anonymous, this book won’t be launching a lucrative speaking or consulting career.)

If not, well, at least I’ll know that this proposed MVP is a loser and I will try to pivot out of here some other way.  (Maybe some nice company wants to buy this blog?)

Here’s the thinking about the book:

  • About 150-200 pages.
  • Snarky with plenty of attempts at humor
  • Full of REAL, PRACTICAL advice, tips/tricks, do this, don’t do that, …
  • 15ish illustrations/comics
  • Available as Ebook and a self-published REAL BOOK.
  • MAYBE: stories of how real PMs (anoymized) dealt with real-world sticky situations
  • MAYBE: interviews with 2 or 3 luminaries, if I can line them up (Geoffrey Moore? Steven Blank? Eric Ries? Guy Kawasaki?)
  • About 75-80% of the blog would be recycled content from this blog – restructured and updated to fit within the structure of a book.
  • At LEAST 20% new content: 4+ new articles, 4+ new illustrations/comics, plus new introductory text and transition text to existing content.
  • It would NOT just be republishing all the posts.  It would be structured to actually give you ADVICE.

==> 1. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?  Is this at all worthwhile?  Would you pay at LEAST $10 for this?  How about $20?

==> 2. Should I do a Kickstarter, considering that the Kickstarter application is a lot of work (pain in the a$$)?

 

For Kickstarter, you can create high-value rewards for people who make big pledges.

==> 3. What type of Kickstarter reward would appeal to YOU?

==> 4. What Kickstarter rewards would appeal to your company’s Head of Products, so he/she would be inspired to buy a copy for everyone in Products?

What about “rewards” like learning my real identity, meeting me in person, having me speak to your group, etc.?  Worth anything?

 

 

{ 86 comments }

What the Cranky Product Manager Hates About Aspiring “Product Guys”

by The Cranky Product Manager on June 28, 2012

in The PM Profession

Hey there, aspiring “product guy“!

First off, you’re a douchebag for your calling yourself a “product guy.”  

What IS a “product guy” anyway?  Do you mean “product manager” or “product marketer” or something?  Or is the GUY part the emphasis here?  What’s the equivalent female term anyway?  Product Gal?  Product Princess???

The Cranky Product Manager says *gag*.

Second off, you’re pretty frackin’ unqualified to do product work.  

After all, until last week, your only job experience was as a programmer. Or as a student. Yet you think you should be in charge of all of Product (the department).  Or at least of one product.

Sure thing. Go for it. Be the “product guy” you always wanted to be. Dictate features and future product direction from up high on your Product throne.  Wow the Silicon Valley startup scene with your spankin’ new title on mod business cards…

…Just as soon as you let the Cranky Product Manager become your Head of Engineering.  Or your Senior Technical Architect.

Oh wait. That’s probably not a good idea, is it?

Because the Cranky Product Manager is unqualified for those roles.  Even if she took a 3-day “certification course” in software development, she would not be qualified.  

In fact, the Cranky Product Manager is probably far more qualified to be your Head of Development than you are to be Head of Product.  (She at least has a degree in Computer Science, and actually worked as a programmer for a few years early in her career.)

Alas,  just WANTING to be a Product Guy/Gal/Princess/Manager/Marketer/Dweeb is not enough.  You actually need some education, skills, and above all, some EXPERIENCE. 

{ 34 comments }

Professional Services Engineer or Surly Gifted-and-Talented Teenager?

by The Cranky Product Manager on June 7, 2012

in Customer Support,Professional Services,The PM Profession

Professional Services Engineers and Senior Customer Support Engineers, the Cranky Product Manager loves you.  She truly does.  

You get in there and make our products truly work– sing even! –for our most important customers, many of whom have really bizarre requests.  

You are ingenius, a MacGyver for the new century.  You can work around any product deficiency with a wad of gum, a Perl script, and a laptop stuffed with SSDs.

You keep the Cranky PM informed about what the customers are experiencing and the problems they face, and keep the Cranky Product Manager apprised of the experience of using her product day-to-day.  

You are great. And the Cranky Product Manager could not be prouder of you.  

Except for one thing:  your attitude.  You remind the Cranky Product Manager of a surly teenager.  A “gifted and talented” teen, to be sure, but an adolescent with all the part and parcel attitude problems.  

Witness the Cranky Product Manager’s awesome chart:

  Surly Gifted-and-Talented Teenager

Professional Services Engineer
/ Sr. Customer Support Engineer
 
General Attitude Embittered and feeling put-upon by parents’ rules. Embittered and feeling hampered by all the product’s warts and failings.
Opinion of self

Convinced she is brilliant and her parents are biggest idiots ever, and that everyone else’s parents are cooler.

Convinced that Dysfunctosoft Engineering are biggest idiots ever, because Engineering requires months to add the product feature when he hacked up an absolutely brilliant work-around within a few weeks. 
Ability to Understand Not Everyone is Like Him/Her If her best friend thinks something is cool, then she does too. Even if any reasonable person can clearly see otherwise. Believes that if his customer needs this feature, then surely everyone does.  Even if it has no alignment with future product direction, obfuscates the user interface, or would take effort away from more critical areas.
Understanding of Broader World Remarkably naive about life outside her home/school, but thinks she knows all from watching a lot of reality TV. Knows nothing about writing production-worthy code that will work for hundreds of customers, not just one: scaling, internationalization, integration, standards, platform support, testability, user experience, error handling, APIs, etc.  Thinks he already solved 90% of the problem when he really only solved 10%.
Political Savvy If Mom says no, asks Dad. If Dad says no, ask Mom.  If both say no, involves the grandparents or teachers.

If Engineering says “no” to including the hacked-up workaround in official code-base, lobbies Product Management, Sales, and the CEO/GM.
Unreliable 

To gain a privilege, promises to do an unpleasant task like cleaning out the garage.

Then does not do it.  Parents nag her for weeks before finally giving up.

Under political pressure, Engineering caves and agrees to add the hack to the official product code base, but ONLY if the PS engineer makes the code thread-safe, uses standard libraries, etc.

Naturally, this never happens.  Count on the PS Engineer to get very busy on a customer crisis instead.

{ 26 comments }

The Cranky Product Manager is on Pinterest (isn’t she trendy)

by The Cranky Product Manager on April 6, 2012

in Blog Business

Yep, being super duper trendy and all, the Cranky Product Manager is now on Pinterest.

Yeah!  More ways to waste time that she doesn’t have!

Check out all her favorite product management related cartoons, etc.

http://pinterest.com/crankypm/cranky-product-manager-humor/
 

{ 7 comments }

Silicon Valley PCamp. Wicked Awesome, but for one thing.

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 28, 2012

in Reviews & Plugs,The PM Profession

A BIG thank you to the organizers of the 5th annual Silicon Valley PCamp.  As usual, it was wicked awesome.  650 Product Managers in one place!  Wow!

The Cranky Product Manager was very impressed by the quality of the presentations, as well as the organization of the event. Well done, everyone. The organizers did an absolutely tremendous job.  And to think that we get to attend for free!  It’s amazing.

Except for one thing (and it is absolutely no fault of the organizers):

Ballot Stuffing.

The Cranky Product Manager (and no doubt your mother, who TRIED to raise you right) has one simple request for you:

==> If you are NOT planning to attend our PCamp, don’t vote on the sessions! EVEN if a vendor bribes you with free stuff in exchange for your vote.

If you participated in this votes-in-exchange-for-free-crap scheme, SHAME ON YOU.

You screwed up the room assignments and screwed over your fellow product managers.

Sparsely attended sessions, that nonetheless fraudulently garnered a lot of votes, were assigned to the biggest rooms.  More popular topics were assigned to tiny rooms that ended up overflowing with people and unable to accomodate everyone who wanted to attend.

And a note to the vendor(s): Why are you even doing this?  The Cranky Product Manager doesn’t get it.  It does not make you look good.  If no one wants to attend your sessions based on their own merits, why tilt the playing field in attempt to put the session on? Instead, why not take the untampered-with voting as market feedback on your offerings, and next time propose more compelling sessions?  

{ 19 comments }

Why Sales Bitches About Product Management & What to Do About It

January 26, 2012

You’ve heard that old chestnut. You’ve seen it in a million articles. The big advice Sales Droids offer to Product Managers is “Don’t just talk about features.  Tie the features to problems.” And whenever the Cranky Product Manager sees Yet Another Article offering this advice, she thinks, “Doesn’t every product manager already know this stuff? Duh? [...]

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The Brain of a Sales Droid – A Visual Guide

December 12, 2011

Behold, a visual guide to the inside of a SalesDroid’s brain, or more specifically, an Enterprise Software SalesDroid’s brain, as viewed from Product Management.  Yes, the lack of artistic merit in this drawing is profoundly pitiful.  Thank goodness the Cranky Product Manager has a day job. If you receive posts via email, you probably didn’t [...]

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