You will be happy to know the Cranky Product Manager has checked out of that vermin-infested Red State Hilton Garden Inn and is now at the substantially more upscale Red State Sheraton. Alas, the rate is now $260 a night (ouch), almost double the price of the former accommodations. Seems like a steep price for a quasi-hick town in the middle of the country. After all, it ain't Manhattan. Or even Charlotte, NC, for that matter. Ah well, at least there aren't massive critter nests in the seams of the mattresses. Yes, she checked.
All of the Cranky Product Manager's clothes and luggage are currently being laundered and cleaned by the Red State's finest dry cleaner (which advertises itself as a Christian-owned business, thank goodness…wouldn't want any heathens touching the Cranky Product Manager's threads). In the interim, the Cranky PM is indeed using a plastic grocery bag as a briefcase and is sporting a swanky(!) new outfit from Wal-Mart. Polyester….mmm. How she loves it.
And a shout out to Bob of ack/nak for his most helpful advice. If you ever get a bed bug infestation, he's the man to call. Seriously.