Product Management Haiku

Inspired by the fine, upstanding folks at Pivotal Product Management, here are some enthralling and inspirational haiku the Cranky PM whipped together.

Join in the fun!  Submit your own haiku in the comments.

Gartner, Forrester,
How the CPM hates you.
Damn Magic Quadrant.

Product Marketing:
They tell product lies all day
But they don’t know it.

Only Bad PMs
Don’t install or even use
The products they own.

Their bogus excuse:
"Technically impossible,"
Code Boyz and Girlz claim.

Darling Customer.
We shipped you crap. I’m sorry.
Please abuse me now.

Top-down, bottom-up…
How to do product planning?
We always debate.

Supported products.
An integration nightmare.
Zillions of versions.

Upgrade now or else
We’ll de-support the release
Your business uses.

Sales Droid always blames
Lost deals on missing features.
Wins are due to him.

Short beta programs:
For publicity only,
Not for finding bugs.

Trade shows are useless
Tools for generating leads.
They just want free pens.


  1. Peter DP

    Process, what process?
    Database comes first
    Then bolt UI on

    Customers don’t know
    What they want, so we tell them
    Everyone is happy

    CEO sets goal
    We struggle to make it there
    Whose fault is failure?

    One does not listen
    One does not communicate
    What a perfect team!

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