Holy grande triple latte. The Cranky Product Manager has been nominated for a big-league award. And it is an award that requires that you be a humungous super genius, no lie. Totally.
Guess which one it is?
The CPM knows what you’re thinking. It goes like this: “WOW, the CPM must have been invited to speak at this year’s TED Conference! Alas, you are incorrect. For some reason TED did not deem the embittered rantings of a spat-upon, cynical product manager to be worthy of a speaking slot. Assholes.
Instead, the Cranky Product Manager has been nominated for a far more prestigious award: The ComputerWeekly.com IT Blog Awards 2008 in the IT Project Management Category. And in case you are as ill-informed as the CPM, note that ComputerWeekly is based in the UK.
Mind you, this is a big fraking deal. Oh shut up. The Cranky Product Manager sees you rolling your eyes and muttering to yourself “Oy vey. Yet another blogular awards scam. Some website invents a bunch of blog awards — all a scheme to get nominated bloggers to link back to the award bestower’s site with ‘vote for me’ posts.”
To which the Cranky Product Manager says, shut the hell up already. She knows the score. She’s perfected the fine art of cynicism after all. But, shit, her self-esteem is in the toilet after the whole TED thing. And because she’s never gotten an award related to her profession before, other than “Best Requirements Document” (an award that made her mother SO fraking proud).
An aside… Lest you think the CPM’s lack of amassed awards must mean she is not so great at her job, let her remind you that 1) She is a Product Management Goddess and no one does it as fantastically as she, ask anyone, and 2) She’s not in Sales where they give you 4 or 5 awards a year if you manage to wipe your own ass without the help of your District Manager. She’s in Product Management, the land of no awards, ever.
Back to business. To make a tedious story short, the Cranky PM is actually genuinely psyched to get nominated, even though it is not quite for a MacArthur. She is very vain yet highly insecure and pathetically craves the validation.
So — begging here — stop yer eye rolling and go to the ComputerWeekly.com site and vote for The Cranky Product Manager. You know you want to. Please?