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Caption Contest: The Clockwork Mouse (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)

by The Cranky Product Manager on October 29, 2008

in The 7 Types of Engineers

clockworkmouse-300x252 Caption Contest: The Clockwork Mouse (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)Reader Eric submitted this addendum to the original “The 6 Types of Software Engineer.” The Cranky Product Manager liked it so much, she changed the name of the series to “7 Types of Software Engineers.”

Submit captions for this cartoon of “The Clockwork Mouse” in this post’s comments. And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…

The Clockwork Mouse

Unlike the other types of software engineers, the Clockwork mouse is most often female. The Mouse works consistently, quietly, and diligently on any project, sub-project, or tiny little feature that is given to her. She is the perfect engineer for that boring file conversion job.

Distinguishing Characteristics

  • Rarely leaves the safe haven of the cube. Must be forced to join meetings.
  • People often ask how long the Clockwork Mouse has worked there when she is spotted (briefly) outside the confines of her cube. Very often, the Mouse has been with the company longer than the person asking.
  • Often talks with a very meek voice and is unwilling to contradict anybody, even when she clearly knows the right answer.
  • Nobody knows what this engineer does with her personal time.
  • Will consistently finish projects on time, but in the most bland manner as possible.
  • Her sense of interface design is non-existent. The interface will either be horribly complex and confusing or so primitive that it will make you wonder if if a C: prompt would be better.
  • She often codes something completely different from the specs because she is too afraid to ask questions.

Project Pitfalls
You may not know this engineer is actually on your project.

Achilles Heal
Any type of social interaction will cause so much stress that the Clockwork Mouse might blow a spring.

Best Bet
Assign non-interface related projects that are intricate, yet boring. The mouse will thrive in this environment. QA is another good bet.

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Caption Contest Winners: 7 Types of Software Engineers | The Cranky Product Manager
12.24.08 at 2:34 pm

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Saeed Khan 10.29.08 at 7:47 pm

Bet you can’t guess how many empty Coke cans I have under my desk?

2 Scott Sehlhorst 10.30.08 at 6:09 am

eek!

3 V Breakey 10.30.08 at 6:27 am

I take pole dancing classes every Wednesday night, and race motorcycles on the weekends. Most people bore me.

4 Tsahi Levent-Levi 10.30.08 at 9:57 am

“I work with you on the XXX project for a year now.”

“I agree”

“I don’t have an opinion”

“Me?”

5 roadmapwarrior 10.30.08 at 10:40 am

Arlene cautiously sticks her head out from her natural habitat - a rare sighting, indeed!

6 Dr. Jim Anderson 10.30.08 at 1:52 pm

CPM: You know, I’m guessing that this type of software engineer (one on every project, thank you) is the IT world’s equivalent of a librarian. I have worked in a library once upon a time and there is a whole subculture there also…

As far as captions go, how about: “But that was my red stapler…”

- Dr. Jim Anderson
The Accidental PM Blog

7 Dave 10.30.08 at 11:10 pm

I just figured if it was important somebody would’ve got back to me by now.

8 NWGuy 10.31.08 at 5:04 pm

Whew, almost everybody gone; if they got rid of that Naked Programmer I’d be able to go home.

9 DGentry 11.02.08 at 7:46 am

If only my cubicle walls were higher…

10 The Other Eric 11.02.08 at 12:10 pm

“Excuse me. You, um, took my copy of the Red Book.”
“Excuse me, would you mind not talking outside my cube.”
“Excuse me, would you mind not typing so loudly.”
“Excuse me, others can smell your falafel.”

(Every organization has a “red book”, even if it’s not red or written by IBM–it’s where the special IP secrets are kept)

11 Rob C 11.03.08 at 5:15 am

Ahh, the Clockwork Mouse makes its bi-annual appearance to confirm that the office clock is set to the right daylight or standard time…

12 Howard Pressman 11.03.08 at 6:24 am

Caption:
“If I write code and no one knows who I am or sees me, does it still have bugs?”

13 Stewart Rogers 11.04.08 at 7:56 am

We have a stand-up now?

14 Eric 11.06.08 at 2:58 pm

See the Clockwork mouse as she use the “prairie dog” as a defence mechanism against predators.

Thanks so much for including the Mouse into the types. They get forgotten so often!

15 Paco 12.04.08 at 12:06 pm

“For fun? Well, umm… we did calisthenics and rifle practice in the morning before my computer science classes.” <– paraphrasing an actual mouse from China when we dragged her into a conversation about what we like doing outside work

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