Fun, fun! Submit your captions in the comments for this cartoon of “The Veteran.” And don’t forget to provide captions for the other Software Engineers Types too!
He’s been here for five years, and he’ll be here for five more.
- For some reason, he’s permitted to use profanity in meetings and otherwise behave in ways that would make his mother cringe and your company’s attorneys start job hunting.
- Casual Friday dress is too formal. Facial hair is common.
- You’re never in on his private jokes.
- He’s eaten 5 Product Managers before you, and he will chew through 5 more after you’re gone.
- His manager is afraid of him. He’s eaten through 5 managers before this one, and he’ll chew through … etc.
- Yes, he is always a “he”.
Do you need this engineer?
Yes. He has the best only knowledge of your product’s undocumented, spaghetti code and he knows it, which is why he will never support projects aimed at documenting it. Also, if left ungoverned he can negatively impact the other engineers (except for any offshore team members, which he does not really consider to be part of his team.)
He can smell fear and ignorance, so don’t defer to him too quickly and don’t ask dumb questions. You’re toast the second you utter your first corporate buzzword in his presence. If he gives you a nickname such as “MBA,” you’re screwed.
He wants to tell his project war stories, like how f-d up the project before this one was, and which “business people” on the project couldn’t handle the stress. He’s happiest when reminiscing about Assembler, or about launch 1.x of the product (which is now in V8.3)
Bring food. Listen to his stories. Defer to his expertise on architecture, even if you think it’s wrong, because he’s probably right. Do this publicly, so he wins. But the architecture battle is your pawn: don’t compromise on anything user-facing, because if he discovers that can scope-cut one critical user-facing feature, this will set the pattern of your relationship.
Also in 7 Types of Engineers
- Caption Contest! (7 Types of Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Veteran (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Hotshot (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Great One (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Teflon-gineer (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: Offshore (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Maverick (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)
- Caption Contest: The Clockwork Mouse (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)