web counter

From the monthly archives:

November 2008

Badness All Around

by The Cranky Product Manager on November 18, 2008

in The PM Profession

Badness abounds. 

Like many (most?) software companies, DysfunctoSoft is goin’ through some hard times. Q3 sales sucked and then that whole October-through-now financial meltdown thing happened.

So the axe fell. And as it often does, the head-cutting machete hit Product Management extraordinarily and disproportionately hard.

(Out of respect for fallen comrades, the Cranky Product Manager will not be making any of her signature lame attempts at humor in this here blog post.)

The Cranky Product Manager had to lay off one of her team members. This really sucked. Big Time. The guy was a really good PM - he was absolutely fantastic with the Sales team, although less so with Development.  But, alas, the Cranky Product Manager is also really good with Sales, and less so with Development. Thus, she needed to keep the dev-focused Product Managers instead.  

(Lesson: If your strengths and weaknesses are the same as your boss, your boss will adore you and “get” you, but might lay you off more readily.)

When the dust settled after DysfunctoSoft’s Week of Carnage, one third of the entire product management team was gone.  Much worse than Sales. Far better than IT.

All this badness got the Cranky Product Manager making lists and rating stuff.  She now presents her list of software company job functions, ordered from most likely to be canned in bad times to least likely.

MOST LIKELY TO BE LAID OFF IN A BAD ECONOMY

  1. Recruiting
  2. Internal Training
  3. IT
  4. Customer Support
  5. Documentation
  6. Product Management
  7. Marketing (PR, Corporate, Events, Website, Lead Generation, Analyst Relations, …)
  8. Product Marketing
  9. QA
  10. Professional Services
  11. Development
  12. Human Resources (need someone around to help cut those heads)
  13. Telesales / Inside Sales
  14. Investor Relations
  15. Sales Reps & Sales Engineering
  16. Finance (because the CFO wields the axe but spares his own team)
  17. Legal

LEAST LIKELY TO BE LAID OFF IN A BAD ECONOMY

Conclusion: Product Management is cut much too early and too deeply compared to other functions, especially when you take into account how critically important good product management is to the success of the company.  The Cranky PM is no finance expert, but she’s been told this is because PM often falls under the “R&D” cost bucket on the income statement, and thus competes with Engineering and QA for funds, even if Product Management does not report to Engineering and is in its own Products organization. In contrast,  Marketing falls under the usually much bigger and more fungible “SG&A” cost bucket.

Is this right? The Cranky Product Manager would appreciate any corrections or comments on this.

{ 14 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Reminder! Caption Contest Ends midnight Nov. 7!

by The Cranky Product Manager on November 5, 2008

in The 7 Types of Engineers

Just TWO days left to leave your funniest caption attempt on each of the “7 Types of Engineers” comics.  Don’t lose out on your chance for a fantabulous coffee mug featuring your caption, courtesy of the Cranky Product Manager.

And check out the captions that have already been submitted. Some are FRAKING hilarious.

{ 1 comment }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 1 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

WTF Refactoring

by The Cranky Product Manager on November 5, 2008

in Development

Scene: War Room. 2 days until Code Freeze.

LEAD DEVELOPER:
So, unfortunately, we’re going to have to pull FavoriteFeature out of the release in order to meet the schedule.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Huh? That feature’s been in the product for 3 releases now. Customers love it. Why do we have to pull it?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
Well, we had to refactor the code, but unfortunately we just don’t have the time to write unit tests.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Why do you need new unit tests? Can’t you just use the old ones?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
We can’t. We don’t have them.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Why?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
Because they weren’t working with the new code.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
(pause)
Refactoring means cleaning up the code while preserving existing functionality, right?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
Yes…

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
(pause)
So, if we’re preserving existing functionality, why did all the old unit tests fail?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
Well, I, uh…. Well, …while the guys were in there modifying, you know, the CODE, well, they, uh, figured they could, uh…, well…, add some stuff to create some WICKED cool Hologram broadcasting stuff. It affected the old tests.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
(pause)
First, Hologram what? That’s not in the backlog!

LEAD DEVELOPER:
We thought it would be cool.

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
No one agreed to it or even discussed it! Seriously, dude, what the effing eff!?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
 (looks at his shoes)

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Second, how can you look me in the eye and call this refactoring when you SO did NOT preserve existing functionality? The Cranky Product Manager calls BULLSHIT. You did a rewrite or rearchitecture or whatever, in a risky piece of code without telling anyone, and then you try to claim it’s a “refactor”. How the FRAK is the Cranky Product Manager ever to believe you again when you tell her you’re refactoring something for readability and ease of future maintenance?!? Do we need group reviews of your code on a daily basis to make sure you’re not slipping Warp Drive into the product?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
(looks at someone else’s feet)

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Third, can you tell me what the POINT of even having unit tests IS, if all you do is DELETE them when they fail?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
(Looks at watch)

THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
(Sweet smile)
And forgive me for pressing on this point, but you’ve said, and I quote, ‘John McCain will reform the way Wall Street does business….’  Can you give us any more examples of McCain’s leading the charge for more oversight? … Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?

LEAD DEVELOPER:
Well, I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to ya!

CPM smiles genially, then slowly pulls every single last hair from her head.

{ 10 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...