Here are 10 things that make the Cranky Product Manager so frakin’ ANNOYED that she’s getting one of those bite plate things. You know, to keep her from grinding her teeth into small nubs while she sleeps. No doubt, the mouth plate will drive her husband WILD.
Here they are, listed in no particular order (and these are by no means the “top 10 of all time,” but are just for today):
- Endless arguments about the worth of product planning via a top-down process versus a bottom-up process.
- EVERYONE claiming they are strategic. Will NO ONE ever acknowledge that their job or abilities are primarily tactical?
- Insincere CEOs who ask the Cranky Product Manager about her Cranky Kid, but cut her off four words into her answer.
- Developers who think the Cranky Product Manager is some kind of user interface expert.
- Developers who ask for the ROI of each and every aspect of a feature. Example: What’s the ROI of the user being able to save his work? Honestly, how are you supposed to do this? And is it even worth it?
- Engineering managers who think that delivering 50% of a feature should result in 50% of the revenue. Usually, a half-baked feature is worse than no feature at all!
- CEOs who move entire release schedules by 6 months or more during quarterly earnings announcements.
- Product Marketing weenies who are too “visionary” and “big picture” to bother trying to use the product – even though it is targeted at business users (not tech people).
- Customers who demand you support operating systems and platforms so old that you can’t obtain them anymore.
- Maintaining the frakin’ Supported Platforms List. ARGH. Is anything more thankless or tedious?