All You Ever Wanted To Know About The Cranky Product Manager (well, not quite)

Yo, the Cranky Product Manager has a few loose ends to clear up.  Questions from readers that have gone unanswered, things the CPM promised to do but forgot about, things she meant to do, … that type of thing.

First off, the Cranky Product Manager needs to send a shout-out to cartoonist extraordinaire and human behind the Meeshka World blog.  She did all the cartoons for the 7 Types of Engineers.   The Cranky PM was a beeyotch and forgot to publicly thank Meeshka’s person for all the help.  THANKS!

Second, some answers to questions the Cranky Product Manager was asked long ago and neglected to answer:

1. “Cranky Product Manager, are you really a woman?

Yes. The author of this blog is indeed in possession of two X chromosomes, other feminine body equipment, and an ass that goes on for days.  And days.  Hmm… Ok, well, maybe weeks….

…Years, anyone?

2. “Is this blog really written by just one person?”

Yes. With the exception of one post that was clearly labeled as a guest post back in August, every single post has come from the tortured mind of one –and JUST one — sarcastic and embittered (but WICKED AWESOME) individual.

So far, that is.  The Cranky Product Manager is getting a little burned out on blogging lately, and wouldn’t mind getting some help.  A blog is a beast that must be constantly fed — no time for rest unless you want your readership to plummet like the real estate market.  So expect some guest posts in the future, but they will all be clearly labeled.

(AS IN TOMORROW.  GUEST POST TOMORROW.)

If you are interested in being a guest poster, drop the Cranky Product Manager an email (crankypm AT crankypm.com) or send her a tweet.  Three rules for guest posting: 1) be cranky, 2) don’t be sexist/racist, 3) replace swears with more PG-rated phrases.

3. “Has this blog changed hands at any point?”

No. This blog was started in June 2006 and for the past 2.5 years has been written by one person — the SAME pathetic person the entire time.

4. “Cranky PM, is that really your ass in the blog’s masthead photo?”

Only in the Cranky Product Manager’s fantasies.  And this blog is her fictional fantasy, where she gets to tell everyone exactly what she thinks.

5. “Have you sold out?”

Hah! That would imply someone is buying.  Yes, the Cranky Product Manager tries to make a few bucks to cover web hosting costs and her obscene triple-grande-nonfat-latte habit via:

  1. Google AdSense ads
  2. Some Amazon Affiliates links to products she honestly likes
  3. By selling mugs and t-shirts

The above are the only attempts at revenue — no pay-per-post shenanigans, no recommending products the CPM doesn’t actually like, none of that crap.

But pretty much none of you click on ads or buy mugs, so BIG THANKS for that.

6. “Do I know you, Cranky Product Manager?”

Probably not.  But wondering is half the fun, isn’t it?

7. “Help! I’m a female PM who is somewhat blunt and EVERYONE accuses me of being the Cranky Product Manager. What should I do?”

Do what the Cranky Product Manager does. Deny it. Flat out. Say “It’s not me. In fact I feel sorry for her, she seems like such a bitter person.”

That’s right, you heard it. The real Cranky Product Manager just lies when confronted with that most-dreaded question. Right after she has a panic attack, throws up in her wastebasket, and starts sweating profusely.

6 comments

  1. Ryan

    I agree with adi… well at least on loving the blog, You provide some great information and insights in the most unusual and interesting ways. It’s great, keep it up! Now… let me go click an Ad or two :-).

  2. The Cranky Product Manager

    Saeed, The Cranky Product Manager has been asked variations of that question many times by the Code Boyz and ex-Code Boyz. They think that because the Cranky PM once used to be a code jockey that she must enjoy the same nerdy hobbies — such as pondering superheroes, playing Grand Theft Auto, and debating Star Wars. Not so. Not so. Seriously, what’s the attraction?

    The reason why the Cranky Product Manager has not answered is that she doesn’t know — OR CARE — about any female superheroes besides Wonder Woman and Bat Girl. She doesn’t know or care about many male superheroes either, but was forced to sit through more movies about them.

    Debating the fine points of Star Trek, tough, is a nerdy hobby worth pursuing. Or at least it used to be.

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