Dammit dammit dammit. The Cranky Product Manager is having a really, really bad month.
Anyone would be PISSED give her sad situation. Exactly how MANY times must DysfunctoSoft make the same mistake over and over again? What about that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome each time” saying? Does no one heed it? Does no one care about being sane?
Explanation: Late last year, the DysfunctoSoft Powers-that-Be all got together and decide on the date for the next major release: September. How typical. It’s always September. Because they like most companies permanently entrapped in a perpetual license sales model, we have to make Q4 a huge one. Or else “The Street” will punish DysfunctoSoft.
And so the release cycle began. Roadmaps were updated, requirements researched, features negotiated, Scrum milestones negotiated, two sprints completed.
And then CEO got on the horn with all the Wall Street analysts.
Listening in, the Cranky Product Manager heard the CEO NOT ONLY commit publicly to this September date, BUT (gasp) HE ALSO promised a certain humongo (and still highly theoretical) new product that was not in the plan. A product that should take a minimum of 2 years to complete with optimal staffing. Even if it were possible. Let’s just say it’s kind of like promising to produce Lightsabers for the masses.
Here is what the Cranky Product Manager wants to do to the CEO with said Lightsaber….