As you might know from previous posts, the Cranky Product Manager is pretty neutral on Agile / Scrum.
Yes, Agile is trendy. Everyone is doing it. Some consultancies out there have tied their entire brand to the Agile concept (digression – how smart is this when the inevitable backlash against something so over-hyped will inevitably occur?).
And don’t get the Cranky PM wrong, Agile/Scrum can help greatly with many types of product development problems. It’s good. It can be fun. But Agile/Scrum is not perfect. It has its problems too. Some of which have been elucidated more eloquently by others.
Well, the Cranky Product Manager is going out on a limb and declaring that:
The BIGGEST problem with Agile/Scrum is its crazy, insulting, demeaning, and threatening lunatic fringe.
Yep, these zealots — and YES, they are TRUE frakin’ Drink-the-Kool-Aid, Jihadist ZEALOTS — believe that Agile is The One True Way to build a product. And that if you do anything else, well, you’re a frakin’ moron who must be silenced. You “just don’t get it,” “you must be doing it wrong”, etc.
And if a non-believer DARES publish something with less than ridiculous adoration for the Agile concept, well they get freakin’ flogged in a over-reacting, vitriolic, personalized fashion.
At worst, the non-believer gets called a c-word who should “shut the f#$# up” and “watch out,” topped off with a “I’ll get YOU into some very Agile positions, you effing b@#$%,” for good measure.
Yep. Each of the Cranky Product Manager’s three posts on Agile/Scrum received an amazing amount of hyper-nasty emails and comments, some of which were downright threatening. The Cranky Product Manager has learned to scan and promptly dump these abusive comments and emails directly into the garbage before she has time to properly comprehend them. Because otherwise, the Cranky Product Manager might become too afraid to leave her house (remember Kathy Sierra, anyone? Fortunately, the Cranky Product Manager writes anonymously).
The Cranky Product Manager has had this post in draft form for months because she’s afraid of unleashing the wrath of the Agile Jihadists once more. But eff it. She won’t be intimidated by those f@#%s any longer. Seeing the attack on Adam Bullied (even though it was relatively minor) made her want to speak up.
Anyway, the Cranky Product Manager does not know how to wrap this post up, except to call upon the more moderate elements of the Agile community to
- Stop getting so defensive with people who don’t think Agile is the second coming, and
- Do something about your lunatics.
Please. And thank you.