If a PR / Marcom Weenie Wrote This Blog, here’s what the About page would look like:
About The Cranky Product Manager
Founded in 2006, The Cranky Product Manager (aka CPM) is a leading provider of world-class, robust, scalable, and market leading content platform that helps product professionals unlock value and position themselves for success in the marketplace, while realizing a high return on investment. Built on a next-generation, Web 2.0-based and AJAX-enabled platform, the Cranky Product Manager takes a three-pronged approach to content delivery utilizing social media and has thousands of users at leading Fortune 500 companies, including Microsoft, Apple, Oracle, SAP, Google, Yahoo, and the US Government.
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YOu seem to have forgotten “Platform neutral, virtualized, with unlimited growth potential delivering value add content in a multicontextual environment.”
If you can squeeze in “Solar powered, renewable driven, or hybrid” you can get some extra credit
On a more serious note, I whip of 5 or 6 press releases a year, putting gold into the text. Once it hits Corporate Marcom, the blandest pablum comes back. I no longer get upset at the castration of any decent messaging.
You also forgot “Easy to use”.
Aren’t we all.
Where’s “Game-Changing”, “Global”, and “Green”? You’ve got “Next-Gen” in there, but it sounds pretty weak with just a soft-g. You need the hard-g trifecta to garner (there it is again) any traction (that’s a good one, too).
Anybody else LUV watching that new show “Pitchmen”? It’s such a brilliantly simple demonstration of how product development, sales and marketing have been done successfully for over a century in America (infomercials are almost verbatim copies of old boardwalk sales routines in Atlantic City):
1. Find a problem lots of people have.
2. Find a product that solves that problem.
3. Do basic field research and price the product so that people will buy it at enough volume to be profitable.
4. Make a marketing message that clearly and concisely explains what the hell is going on (e.g. the infomercial).
5. Test-market it.
6. If the test is successful, scale up and sell, sell, sell. If the test fails, tweak and try again.
Software marketing is so pathetically caught-up in techno babble. It would be amazing to see Billy Mays create a 2-minute pitch for a software application. Not only would the pitch be completely devoid of jargon, it would probably be clear (and loud) enough for your grandmother to understand.
New Cranky Blog Post! “If a PR / Marcom Weenie Wrote This Blog” – http://bit.ly/zZ2im
New Cranky Blog Post! “If a PR / Marcom Weenie Wrote This Blog” – http://bit.ly/QWuAL
RT @crankypm: New Cranky Blog Post! “If a PR / Marcom Weenie Wrote This Blog” – http://bit.ly/QWuAL How come CPM gets all the funny lines?
Sorry if you’ve already seen this, BUT the “Enlightened Stupid Marketer” video is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH9vcZO9SKw
MIdlakewinter: That is about the best piece I have seen in a long time, up there with the Sun “You chose product management, DEAL WITH IT” videos.
I have a Tech Dev director who thinks he can play marketing. Just two days ago he got in the face of our sales director on why the channel partners couldn’t see unqualified leads in our CRM. WTF is a tech dev director doing rooting around in the CRM tool?
Also the PR speak could use a “paradigm shift” to keep this somewhat on topic…
I’m disappointed that “boner-inducing” didn’t make the list
What, nothing about “the cloud”? Web 2.0 and Ajax is sooo last week.
if ur a marketer or a marketer-hater, ur gonna love this: http://is.gd/N8oP. found in comment section of this awsomeness http://is.gd/N8r2
oaths to never be a PR flack. Way too easy to get mired in the sarcasm, a la today’s @crankypm post: http://is.gd/NevX
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