The Cranky Product Manager came in SECOND in this category in 2008 (see here and here), but THIS TIME SHE DESERVES to WIN. Well, not really, but since when does “deserving” have anything to do with a product management award (not naming names, but you KNOW who you are…)?
If the Cranky Product Manager wins this totally unbelievably amazing award, she’s totally going to spend its massive CASH PRIZE on wicked awesome stuff like the following:
- A giant foam hand, to be shipped to each high tech product manager on the planet, that you can use to slap some common sense into those Marketing Geniuses, Sales Droids, and CodeBoyz/CodeGrrlz, without getting into (much) trouble with HR.
- Billboards on Highway 101 that tell software execs ” NARROW IT DOWN! ‘The Fortune 500′ ” is not an actionable market segment!”
- Psychotherapy for the world’s QA engineers, to improve their self esteem to the point where they aspire to actually test end-to-end workflows and use cases, not just nitpick when the colors don’t match the UI mockups.
- A massive school-spirit-style bonfire, full of all the world’s data sheets that are pure marketing fluff without a single technical detail. It will burn for DAYS.
It’s all for the good of the Product Management Profession! TRULY. My GAWD isn’t the Cranky Product Manager so FRAKIN’ GENEROUS. What a saint she is.
So, VOTE ALREADY.