In the last post, the Cranky Product Manager mocked Crypto-Descriptions of companies and products. Microsoft and Oracle were the targets of her crank-osity. She’s sure you loved it, because after all, who doesn’t love a good public bashing of Bill’s and Larry’s spawn?
Anyway, inspired by the ensuing discussion, the Cranky PM figured it might be fun to see if she can create the Worst. Positioning. Statement. Ever., but still have it be believable as something a real software company would say.
Here’s her attempt:
DysfunctoCrank is a business agility platform for organizations in financial services, manufacturing, healthcare, energy, business services, and government who want to accelerate their businesses and achieve improved Return On Agility(TM).
Thoughts? Can you do better? (and by better, the Cranky Product Manager means worse.)