The Cranky Product Manager was just reading Rich Mironov’s The Art of Product Management. Good reads. Easy, breezy. Informative yet FUN essays about product management. Kind of like this blog. Except it is better written. And not cranky. And optimistic and hopeful. And more educational. And by someone who knows a lot more about Product Management than the embittered Cranky Product Manager.
(Crap. Why are you reading this pathetic blog? Maybe you should go check out Rich’s book instead (see note 1).)
Not that the Cranky Product Manager agrees with everything Mr. Mironov sez. Cuz, of course, being cranky, she can’t. It is a law of the universe. She must find something to nitpick. This quality of hers drives the Cranky Husband wild with desire. No lie. Well, not really.
So anyway, the nitpicks. The Art of Product Management has a chapter explaining how Product Management is like Parenting. Or maybe it’s why parenting is like product management. Whatever. But it got the Cranky Product Manager thinking, seeing as she’s the parent of one CrankyKid.
(For those unfamiliar with the CrankyKid… S/he is a toddler who, unfortunately, is picking up the Cranky PM’s potty mouth. Exhibit A: yesterday’s car ride conversation with him/herself: “BULL sheet? boool-sheet? boolshit! bullSHIT!!? BullBULLshit! Bullshit mommy bullSHIT!“, you get the idea. Repeated a thousand times over in that way that only a toddler can. Please commence judging of the Cranky Product Manager’s parenting skills NOW.)
So, YEAH. Product Management is JUST LIKE parenting. JUST LIKE. Especially if:
- You go around asking everyone about your baby’s strengths, but especially his weaknesses.
- You do win-loss analysis after play dates.
- You actively seek market problems that your toddler can profitably solve. For example, maybe Judd Apatow’s next film could use the CrankyKid’s cursing and new-found toileting skills?
- You send out surveys to relatives, friends, members of the local mother’s club, and those “Mommy and Me” Pilates people (or do we only have these in California?) about how well your child is meeting their needs, and what their perception of your child’s brand is.
- You maintain a 10-year roadmap for the child, in PowerPoint format.
- You conclude that after two years of being a drag on your household’s finances, that you need to shoot your spawn in the head. Or at least “desupport” him/her by refusing to further feed, clothe or educate him/her.
DISCLAIMER: Please note that nothing in this post is meant to advocate infanticide or toddlercide or any type of harm of any kind to children (or any living creature). The Cranky PM DOES, however, advocate the euthanasia of under-performing and misguided products. INANIMATE products.
Note 1: YES, the Cranky PM knows Rich. He is wicked awesome, but he is not giving her any compensation for a positive review. Instead, Amazon Affiliates promises to give the Cranky Product Manager an affiliate commission on any book sales made via this link. But she is recommending it because it is a good book, not for the money. (If she were just trollin’ for cash, she could recommend some TERRIBLE books on product management and Amazon would still pay).