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Death of a Product Manager

by The Cranky Product Manager on April 25, 2011

in The PM Profession

There will be no chuckles or laughs in this post.  

Why?  Because it is about a serious topic – how a DECENT company deals with the death of one of its employees.

The Cranky Product Manager has a bit of first-hand experience here. It was long ago, but the wounds are still fresh.   Let’s just say that DysfunctoSoft handled some of it well, and some of it was handled just horribly. Enough that people still talk about it.

So, managers and execs, listen up.  In the unexpected and unfortunate event that an employee dies, keep the following in mind.

1. If the employee died in the office, hire some grief counselors and bring them onsite the very next day.  Maybe you should requirethat the people who actually found the dying employee (or tried to help/revive him/her) spend at least 30 minutes in a room with a grief counselor, even if they say they do not need it.

2. If you are the manager of this employee, be decent and either call or meet with the spouse or next of kin yourself.  If you knew the employee pretty well, you are most likely the most appropriate person to break the news.  Don’t be a wussy and leave this to some anonymous HR person. BE SENSITIVE.  If you have difficulty being sensitive, ask someone who IS sensitive what you should say.  And don’t delay!

3. When the time is right, ask the next of kin about funeral arrangements and ask if co-workers might attend.

4. If co-workers are invited, allow employees to attend the funeral.  If you don’t give them time off, well you’re just an asshole. 

5. If the employees manager is at a different location, have him/her travel to the funeral.  If the employee was particularly close to workers at remote locations, perhaps offer to pay for travel for these other workers.

6. Stop worrying about “setting precedent” with regard to offering benefits or assistance to the family.  Just do the fucking right thing, okay?  Hint: if you use “setting precedent” as an excuse, more than likely you’re being a douchebag and NOT doing the right thing.

7.  As the manager (or other point of contact for the family), keep in touch with the family over the next month or so.  At least once a week.  Ask how they are doing, what you can do to help them out.  

Realize that despite the awkwardness, the next of kin might need to immediately learn about financial matters (such as last paychecks, medical benefits, life insurance, pensions, stock, etc). Some people live paycheck to paycheck, and the stress of figuring out their future financial situation is one thing you CAN do for the family during a time like this.  The family also needs to figure out how to get the deceased’s personal effects back  and how to return company property the deceased employee had at home.

8. Please, be decent and extend COBRA benefits to the widow(er) and dependent children for at least 18 months at no cost to the family.

9. Have someone set up a fund with the bank where people can make donations for the support of the deceased’s children. Publicize it through the company, but don’t strong arm people into donating.  And maybe make the donations anonymous so that the family doesn’t have to write thankyou notes (another detail that they must attend to at a very hard time for them).

10.  Send flowers.  For employees who cannot make the funeral, allow them to write notes of condolence and deliver them to the family.

11. When packing up the employees stuff and returning it, please be sensitive and respect his/her privacy.

12.  Don’t move another employee directly into the deceased employee’s cube or office.  Leave it empty for a while. It might be a good place to store server equipment and such in the meantime.

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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Finlay McWalter April 26, 2011 at 9:07 AM

A vexing problem is the decedent’s “digital” effects: files on their computer and the company’s network shares, personal correspondence in their email account, personal messages or contacts stored in the company telephone system, and photos, texts, chats, files, and voice recordings on the employee’s company issued mobile phone. Disentangling this stuff on separation (voluntary or not) is difficult (not least because of the volume of stuff that’s often involved), even with a living employee.

There’s no easy fix for this. You can’t just hand a wholesale copy over to the family, as it may contain company and customer confidential data. You can’t destroy it, as it may contain info valuable to the family or to the company (and in some circumstances you may be legally obligated to retain it). And picking through it (winnowing the personal from the profession) is a time-consuming and sometimes intrusive task.

So while everyone’s still alive and employed, it’s a good time to remind them that keeping personal stuff, and doing intimate personal business, on the company’s equipment is generally a bad idea /for them/. Stuff they might need gets lost or becomes inaccessible on termination, stuff they wish was gone ends up in a hundred company backups, and stuff they think is private ends up getting data-dumped to their bewildered successor.

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2 G E April 26, 2011 at 7:21 PM

While I agree with the statement of, ” keeping personal stuff, and doing intimate personal business, on the company’s equipment is generally a bad idea /for them/.”.

I’d go one further. Anything you do on company time/equipment is the company’s. This includes e-mails from your work account, texts from your work phone, files stored on the computer, etc. If you just remember that, its a much better situation for all involved (including the poor IT guy who may have to pick through your hard drive for anything of potential value to save before wiping it and reallocating the system).

I’m not saying companies should constantly snoop through equipment assigned to you. I’m just saying, if you remember that its company property, you won’t be surprised if they tell you to remove those MP3s you have, or if it dies, IT isn’t interested in helping you get back all those photos of your kids.

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3 Moschops May 7, 2011 at 2:51 AM

“Anything you do on company time/equipment is the company’s.”

Whilst I can’t speak for the law in your country, which I understand is rather stacked against employees, here that’s simply not true and even if it were in an employment contract, would be considered illegal and thus unenforceable in law.

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4 Jo April 26, 2011 at 9:57 AM

A co-worker of mine passed away…our management dealt with it horribly. They gave us all really hard time trying to get the time off to attend her funeral, had they not allowed me to go I probably would have just quit right then and there….they wanted us to all go separately to the visitation and come straight back to work after so there was always someone to cover the shift. I don’t think any of the managers/owners went to the funeral either.

They notified us in a REALLY tacky e-mail
“[co-worker] has passed away. We will let you know if the family wants to share arrangement details with you.”

We all knew she was quite sick and in the hospital but still….not very gentle, could have been worded much nicer, and of course the family would want her FRIENDS to attend her funeral.

It was one of the reasons of many on my list of reasons to quit, it just made me feel like they didn’t give a shit about any of us, we were all expendable.

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5 Rai (Pratibha Rai) April 26, 2011 at 12:50 PM

Death of a Product Manager http://ff.im/-BZzhr

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6 Simon April 26, 2011 at 3:48 PM

Death of a Product Manager – http://bit.ly/fp4NOT

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7 Tim Johnson April 26, 2011 at 3:55 PM

@crankypm blog: Death of a colleague http://ff.im/-BZzhr Sobering thoughts and outstanding recommendations. #humanity #leadership

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8 Doktor FrankenTan April 26, 2011 at 10:38 PM
9 Anon April 27, 2011 at 1:31 AM

Also, higher-ups, do not use the death of an employee as a “good time” to fly in to attend the funeral and then convene meetings to inform onsite management you are closing that location.

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10 Rebecca Rachmany April 28, 2011 at 5:51 AM

Great post. Two other things.

1. Be sensitive to cultural differences. In the Jewish culture, it is traditional to visit the bereaved for the 7 days afterwards.

2. If you have to err, err on the side of being overly generous/sensitive at this time. All of the employees will remember it, speak well of it and feel more loyalty to the company because of it. (OK, you should do it because it’s the right thing, but it also has benefits.)

I worked in a company where they were so sensitive about this — a single guy’s parent passed away and they knew he’d be mourning alone, so they made a schedule to make sure at least a couple of people from the company came every day to visit him.

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11 ProdMgmt Talk May 2, 2011 at 9:34 PM

RT @crankypm: #prodmgmt – New Cranky Blog Post! : Death of a Product Manager http://crankypm.com/2011/04/death-product-manager/

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12 Robert May 6, 2011 at 4:57 PM

Requiring an employee to seek counseling, which is effectively mental health care sound overly invasive and quite frankly a violation of an employees privacy unless you can prove they are a danger to the rest of the workplace. No different than mandating an employee get any other medical treatment.

I’d also question the legality of it. Generally it’s only legal when it’s a threat to others either mental stability wise, or for example an infection that could spread.

Regardless, such a mandate is way overbearing.

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13 Nick May 6, 2011 at 6:29 PM

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14 Y Combinator Newest! May 6, 2011 at 10:45 PM

Death of a Product Manager http://bit.ly/gTLun4

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15 Hacker News May 6, 2011 at 11:10 PM

Death of a Product Manager: http://bit.ly/jgWX8H Comments: http://bit.ly/kWUMnQ

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16 Tech & Freak Feeds May 6, 2011 at 11:12 PM

Death of a Product Manager http://dlvr.it/Qthvv

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17 Startups May 6, 2011 at 11:48 PM

Death of a Product Manager: Comments http://digfoc.us/lacXZh

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18 Hacker News YC May 7, 2011 at 12:26 AM

Death of a Product Manager http://goo.gl/fb/IpMdv

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19 Phil Buckley May 7, 2011 at 12:53 AM

Creepy, but spot on advice. RT @HackerNewsYC: Death of a Product Manager http://t.co/ipH4bia

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20 Kalimba HN May 7, 2011 at 1:30 AM

Death of a Product Manager http://goo.gl/fb/MCoXl #hackernews #kalimba

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21 Tech news (BOT) May 7, 2011 at 1:35 AM

HNews: Death of a Product Manager http://bit.ly/kMVg84

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22 bartezzini May 7, 2011 at 3:06 AM

Death of a Product Manager: Comments http://goo.gl/fb/za0Kn

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23 Hacker News 20 May 7, 2011 at 3:25 AM

Death of a Product Manager http://bit.ly/lYaBeJ (http://bit.ly/kFW1AV) #guru

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24 Murshid Ahmed May 7, 2011 at 3:33 AM

Death of a Product Manager — The Cranky Product Manager http://bit.ly/lJx9VS

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25 Taro F May 7, 2011 at 3:37 AM

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26 Diego Pacheco May 7, 2011 at 3:42 AM

RT @HackerNewsYC: Death of a Product Manager http://goo.gl/fb/IpMdv

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27 Srivathsan G.K May 7, 2011 at 7:46 AM

RT @crankypm: Death of a Product Manager – http://bit.ly/hOdgl3

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28 Nicolas Lehuen May 7, 2011 at 8:56 AM

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29 Georges Mason May 7, 2011 at 9:16 AM

RT @nlehuen: Death of a Product Manager http://ff.im/-CQoIU

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30 Matthieu A May 7, 2011 at 8:01 PM
31 geek May 10, 2011 at 7:25 AM
32 Larry July 15, 2011 at 1:54 PM

Where is the Cranky PM? You are missed.

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33 RBK! July 25, 2011 at 11:46 AM

New post!!

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34 Franklin Moser September 18, 2011 at 1:43 PM

Death of a Product Manager http://t.co/EprYZUh5 #PMBlog

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