An Updated “Brain of a Sales Droid” Diagram

An Esteemed Member of the Crankerati  did something awesome.

He re-drew the Cranky Product Manager’s pitiful, hand-drawn “Brain of a Sales Droid” diagram (see old version here), so he could print it on a T-shirt and wear it to Sales Kick-off (brave man!).

And voila!  The redrawn pic is actually LEGIBLE. That means you can now READ the text, which was pretty impossible before. WICKED AWESOME.  (Plus it has a minor update, to highlight Droids’ near-universal and newfound obsession with Tesla sedans).

So, here it is. Once again. The Enterprise Software Sales Droid’s Brain, as viewed from Product Management:



  1. Guy

    Bug report #001:
    Product: Inside the Sales Droid’s Brain
    Affected Version: 2
    Bug classification: spelling mistake
    Severity: Mildly embarrassing
    Affected module: People Skills
    Description: The diagram says “Hygeine”, which should be spelled “Hygiene”

    Otherwise brilliant!

  2. Robert Wood

    You managed to create a crude, highly gendered profile for a group of sales colleagues that we PMs ought to treat with more respect. For the record, I learn more about the market by sitting down for beers with my “Sales Droids,” as you put it, than I do by trying to haze them with creepy .gifs like this. They’re individuals, often under immense amounts of pressure, and the role is far less masculinized than you claim—but perhaps you’re the PM for a 1980s frathouse, steakhouse, or titty bar, something hinted at by your crude template for software sales in the 2010s. The fact that you later characterize yourself (or PM in general) as a sort of “Deanna Troi” role is pretty laughable in the face of this level of insensitivity. “Cranky PM” is right. See you on LinkedIn.

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