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From the category archives:

Blog Business

Fantabulous Christmas Gifts for Product Managers

by The Cranky Product Manager on November 30, 2009

in Blog Business

Searching for a Christmas present for that wicked awesome product manager?

BUY A CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER MUG!

The Cranky Product Manager created a brand spankin’ new design, to wrap around mugs, water bottles, and travel mugs. Check it:

And of course, the usual mugs are still for sale:

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{ 2 comments }

VOTE FOR THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER

by The Cranky Product Manager on November 24, 2009

in Blog Business


Right now, stop reading this post and go vote for the Cranky Product Manager in the Computer Weekly blog awards, category: proJECT management (don’t ask…).  HURRY UP!!!! There’s only about 1 day left.

The Cranky Product Manager came in SECOND in this category in 2008 (see here and here), but THIS TIME SHE DESERVES to WIN. Well, not really, but since when does “deserving” have anything to do with a product management award (not naming names, but you KNOW who you are…)?

If the Cranky Product Manager wins this totally unbelievably amazing award, she’s totally going to spend its massive CASH PRIZE on wicked awesome stuff like the following: foamhand

  • A giant foam hand, to be shipped to each high tech product manager on the planet, that you can use to slap some common sense into those Marketing Geniuses, Sales Droids, and CodeBoyz/CodeGrrlz, without getting into (much) trouble with HR.
  • Billboards on Highway 101 that tell software execs ” NARROW IT DOWN! ‘The Fortune 500′ ” is not an actionable market segment!”
  • Psychotherapy for the world’s QA engineers, to improve their self esteem to the point where they aspire to actually test end-to-end workflows and use cases, not just nitpick when the colors don’t match the UI mockups.
  • A massive school-spirit-style bonfire, full of all the world’s data sheets that are pure marketing fluff without a single technical detail. It will burn for DAYS.

It’s all for the good of the Product Management Profession! TRULY. My GAWD isn’t the Cranky Product Manager so FRAKIN’ GENEROUS. What a saint she is.

So, VOTE ALREADY.

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{ 3 comments }

It Ain’t Happening. Sorry.

November 6, 2009

This is brief, because it hurts to type.  True physical pain.
The Cranky PM has H1N1 – 0r as one reader termed it, “porkulosis”.  No doubt, it is some kind of cosmic retribution for her executing a near flawless product launch earlier this week, and then bragging about it on Twitter.
Unfortunately, this means that the Cranky Product Manager [...]

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Need Your Help (Biz of SW 2009)

November 2, 2009

Hello,
As you might know, the Cranky Product Manager is scheduled to speak at the Business of Software 2009 conference. In a crazy-ass wig and sunglasses. As if that really disguised anyone. Maybe the CPM should get one of those Scooby-Doo Villain masks….
Ack.  Focus, CPM!
The topic: the Cranky Product Manager is gonna talk [...]

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The Cranky Product Manager Speaks

September 3, 2009

The Cranky Product Manager has gone all new-agey — doing yoga and eating organic food and crap like that…rethinking life, trying to think positive (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”) and all. (What’s next? Macrame?)
Anyway, perhaps as a result, the Cranky Product Manager’s body has become less poluted and [...]

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Defending the CPM’s Fictional Name

July 1, 2009

You “regular” people will probably never understand this, but it is TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH being a fictional product management celebrity. (Please, cry for me, Argentina.)
For one, the paparazzi never leave you alone.
Second, you never get any ”real-world” Web-2.0 cred – even at a time when everyone else is vomiting  ”social media brand-building” all over their resumes.  Well, guess [...]

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Defending the CPM's Fictional Name

July 1, 2009

You “regular” people will probably never understand this, but it is TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH being a fictional product management celebrity. (Please, cry for me, Argentina.)
For one, the paparazzi never leave you alone.
Second, you never get any ”real-world” Web-2.0 cred – even at a time when everyone else is vomiting  ”social media brand-building” all over their resumes.  Well, guess [...]

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New Cranky Mug Design

February 16, 2009

Hey!  Look!  It’s a new Cranky Product Manager mug!
It declares to the world “I AM A CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER.”
You should get yourself one.  It’s WICKED AWESOME.
PM leaders, just think of it. Finally, the perfect present for your team of put-upon product managers–those hard-working, in-the-trenches professionals that get no love, no appreciation, no free trips to [...]

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All You Ever Wanted To Know About The Cranky Product Manager (well, not quite)

January 21, 2009

Yo, the Cranky Product Manager has a few loose ends to clear up.  Questions from readers that have gone unanswered, things the CPM promised to do but forgot about, things she meant to do, … that type of thing.
First off, the Cranky Product Manager needs to send a shout-out to cartoonist extraordinaire and human behind [...]

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Twitter Experiment

October 21, 2008

OK, the Cranky Product Manager heard that all the Cool Kids are doing this thing called “Twitter” which involves sending “tweets” and getting a phone full of SMSs with critical information, such as what your BFF ate for breakfast that morning.
So, in an effort to recapture her already-spent youth and waste even MORE time than [...]

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