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From the category archives:

Development

The Cranky PM on “Been There, Done That”

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 5, 2010

in Development

The following cartoon has been shamelessly republished from Shreyas Doshi’s excellent “How to Get that Next PM Job” presentation to the Silicon Valley Product Management Association.  Many years ago, during her first month at DysfunctoSoft, the Cranky Product Manager had this EXACT argument with the Engineering Manager for DysfunctoCrank:

Shreyas Doshi on Product Management

by Shreyas Doshi

It was years ago, but to this day the Cranky PM does not understand how that a-hole could take so LITTLE PRIDE  in his work that he would insist on shipping a product with the name misspelled.

At the time, the Cranky PM was shocked. But after years in the product management game, nothing surprises her anymore.

Rest assured, the Cranky PM won this battle.  The product was NOT renamed DysfucktoCrunk.

A little link love for Shreyas Doshi, for making the Cranky Product Manager chuckle just a little bit, through the tears of frustration:

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{ 4 comments }

Guest Post: The Cranky Engineer Responds to a PRD

by The Cranky Product Manager on April 1, 2009

in Development, Guest Posts

Today we have a super-duper-uber-fantastic guest post from the Cranky Engineer, aka DGentry of codingrelic.geekhold.com. Check out his blog.  It’s WICKED AWESOME.

Also, you might recall that DGenery was the BIG WINNER of the Cranky Product Manager’s caption contest for the “7 Types of Engineers.” He won a fancy pants coffee mug.  AND HE LOVES IT.  Maybe YOU should buy a coffee mug too….

—————————-

From: Cranky Engineer #4
To: Product Manager #4
Date: Apr 1, 2009
Subject: Twitter reliability enhancement functional spec

Got your PRD about the 3G connectivity issues at the SXSW conference and the resulting drop in twitter volume, thanks. We couldn’t help but notice the lack of any actual requirements in the requirements document, but the main point seemed to be to “make it mo’ betta.” As mobile tower placement is subject to considerable regulation, we presume that the PRD is not calling for a build-out of a new national 3G network, but rather to eliminate dependencies on external factors beyond our control. Thus:

  • No dependency on mobile network capacity
  • No impact from density of surrounding buildings or obstacles
  • No necessity for the presence or absence of electricity.
  • No requirement for the user to own or know how to operate a computer

I think we’ve come up with a proposal which meets these requirements. The only remaining dependency is literacy. As we do not control the educational system in this country, this dependency may also need to be eliminated in a future version of this document.

Abstract of Proposal

Twitter usage is growing robustly, but is hampered by insufficient network capacity at heavily attended tech events such as SXSW and anywhere Steve Jobs gets up on a stage. Tweet volume from such events is lower than would be expected due to the connectivity issues.

It is proposed that designated drop zones be established at major tech events, where conference attendees can send and receive tweets. To avoid any dependency on telco infrastructure, tweets will be delivered to these TweetDrops by a robust and innovative mechanism.

1. Encoding

Each 140 character tweet is printed on a 5 mm wide paper strip, which is laminated and wrapped about the leg of a single carrier pigeon. The tweet is printed using a standard UPC barcode for ease of decoding at the remote end. The lamination is not necessary in theory, but in practice the messages often need to be wiped clean before processing (these are pigeons, after all).

2. Ordered Delivery

Conversations become difficult to follow if tweets are delivered out of order, but ordering is not guaranteed by the underlying network topology in this case. Therefore an 8 bit sequence number will be prepended to the barcode, which will be used to re-order pigeons arriving at the destination.

With 8 bits for sequencing information, only 256 pigeons can be launched at a time. The next wave of pigeons cannot be launched until it is certain that all members of the previous wave have left the system. To achieve acceptable throughput the natural lifespan of the pigeons cannot be used for this purpose.
Therefore, a small explosive device is fitted before launch to place a strong upper bound on the Time To Live (TTL) for that tweet. The next wave of tweets can be launched when the TTL for the previous wave has expired.

3. Loss detection

Due to the TTL mechanism employed for robust ordering it is possible that tweets will be dropped (or, more properly, exploded) in transit. To allow for retransmission an additional 8 bit acknowledgment field will be prepended to the barcode, and used to implement a sliding window protocol. (XXX Hang on, are we reinventing TCP here? Let’s have a sit-down about this before you forward it to PM, or we’ll end up rat-holing on this topic.)

Though lost tweets are expected to be a serious burden during initial deployment of this technology, it is believed that natural selection will result in a more reliable infrastructure as the less dependable population of pigeons is removed from the breeding stock by the TTL mechanism.

4. Operational Issues

The operations cost of this infrastructure is expected to be high, due to the need for replacement of pigeons whose TTL expired in transit. It is proposed that a breeding program be established in order to replenish capacity at minimal cost. This also nicely solves the problem of providing something for the pigeons to do between major tech events.

5. Direction of Future Work

The necessity of printing each tweet on a strip of paper and scanning the paper at the destination is a serious bottleneck in the communications path. A more efficient mechanism would be to download the tweets directly into the carrier pigeon via an existing Twitter API. Unfortunately the pigeons have strongly resisted attempts to implement any such mechanism.

The TTL mechanism can reasonably be expected to elicit a negative response from both animal rights activists and civil defense authorities, and should be considered only a temporary measure to reduce the time to market. A subsequent update to the infrastructure should investigate use of electromagnets to confuse the carrier’s natural homing instinct and send them somewhere where the tweet payload they carry will be harmless.

6. Security Considerations

No thorough analysis of the security of the carrier pigeon transport has been conducted. Because each pigeon will follow a different route to the destination owing to differences in wind currents, temperature gradients, and mood, it is unlikely that an attacker would be able to capture an entire conversation.
Additionally the TTL mechanism discourages interception of the pigeons in flight.

Encryption of the tweet payload is acceptable only if the pigeons can be guaranteed not to cross from within the United States to another sovereign nation, as such would violate US export and munitions laws.

7. References

[1] D. Waitzman, “A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers,” RFC 1149, 1 April 1990.

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{ Comments on this entry are closed }

New Cranky Mug Design

February 16, 2009

Hey!  Look!  It’s a new Cranky Product Manager mug!
It declares to the world “I AM A CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER.”
You should get yourself one.  It’s WICKED AWESOME.
PM leaders, just think of it. Finally, the perfect present for your team of put-upon product managers–those hard-working, in-the-trenches professionals that get no love, no appreciation, no free trips to [...]

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The Veteran Software Engineer: Hard Proof At Last

February 9, 2009

7:00 am. The Cranky Product Manager awakes.  Grabs the Blackberry Curve off the bedside table. Starts deleting spam. Opens the following email from a reader and starts laughing hysterically.
Darling Husband is startled awake and is like “what the???”
Dear Cranky Product Manager,
I have attached a picture of the real Veteran Engineer that works with me. [...]

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On Engineering Meetings (redux)

January 15, 2009

The Cranky PM is finally getting up the energy to respond to comments on her older blog posts.  In particular, those from a certain reader who keeps inflicting violent disagreement on her.
What THE???  Who does he think he IS?  How DARE HE disagree with the Cranky Product Manager?  When is he (along with the Cranky [...]

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Divine Rules for Product Managers #1: Prepping for Engineering Meetings

December 29, 2008

The Cranky Product Manager had a religious experience recently, where the gods of enterprise software came to her in a vision and presented her with the Laws of Product Management. Being gods, they instructed her to share these sacred Laws with y’all. 
The Cranky Product Manager shall post each Law in a separate post. Eventually, when [...]

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Caption Contest Winners: 7 Types of Software Engineers

December 24, 2008

At long last, the Cranky Product Manager is posting the winning captions for the “7 Types of Software Engineers” cartoons!!!!
Whoo hoo.
Sorry about the delay.  It’s just a big frakin hassle to put captions on cartoons and create a Cafe Press store — all so the Cranky Product Manager can order some mugs with pictures of engineer [...]

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Wicked Fun Game Highlighting the Never-Ending Battle Between Product Management and Development

December 22, 2008

The Cranky Product Manager has a Christmas present for you.  
No, it’s not something from her recommended “Wicked Awesome Presents for Product Managers” list, alas. (Buy your favorite PM a present now! Last day for shipping).
Nay, it’s a fantastic board game – a classic, with a new twist. It will give you hours of fun [...]

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Reminder! Caption Contest Ends midnight Nov. 7!

November 5, 2008

Just TWO days left to leave your funniest caption attempt on each of the “7 Types of Engineers” comics.  Don’t lose out on your chance for a fantabulous coffee mug featuring your caption, courtesy of the Cranky Product Manager.
And check out the captions that have already been submitted. Some are FRAKING hilarious.

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WTF Refactoring

November 5, 2008

Scene: War Room. 2 days until Code Freeze.
LEAD DEVELOPER:
So, unfortunately, we’re going to have to pull FavoriteFeature out of the release in order to meet the schedule.
THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER:
Huh? That feature’s been in the product for 3 releases now. Customers love it. Why do we have to pull it?
LEAD DEVELOPER:
Well, we had to refactor [...]

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