The Cranky Product Manager - the ugly side of software product development

Fantabulous Christmas Gifts for Product Managers

November 30, 2009

Searching for a Christmas present for that wicked awesome product manager?
BUY A CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER MUG!
The Cranky Product Manager created a brand spankin’ new design, to wrap around mugs, water bottles, and travel mugs. Check it:

And of course, the usual mugs are still for sale:

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VOTE FOR THE CRANKY PRODUCT MANAGER

November 24, 2009

Right now, stop reading this post and go vote for the Cranky Product Manager in the Computer Weekly blog awards, category: proJECT management (don’t ask…). HURRY UP!!!! There’s only about 1 day left.
The Cranky Product Manager came in SECOND in this category in 2008 (see here and here), but THIS TIME SHE DESERVES to WIN. [...]

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Translation of The Cranky Product Manager

November 16, 2009

Like all product managers who’ve lasted more than a year or two, the Cranky Product Manager has learned a few key phrases that keep her out of trouble. We all do it. Don’t kid yourself. “Weasel words,” some call them. The Cranky PM calls it “PM-Obfusco-Speech.” And here’s a “secret decoder ring” [...]

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It Ain’t Happening. Sorry.

November 6, 2009

This is brief, because it hurts to type. True physical pain.
The Cranky PM has H1N1 – 0r as one reader termed it, “porkulosis”. No doubt, it is some kind of cosmic retribution for her executing a near flawless product launch earlier this week, and then bragging about it on Twitter.
Unfortunately, this means that the Cranky Product Manager [...]

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Need Your Help (Biz of SW 2009)

November 2, 2009

Hello,
As you might know, the Cranky Product Manager is scheduled to speak at the Business of Software 2009 conference. In a crazy-ass wig and sunglasses. As if that really disguised anyone. Maybe the CPM should get one of those Scooby-Doo Villain masks….
Ack. Focus, CPM!
The topic: the Cranky Product Manager is gonna talk [...]

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The Cranky Product Manager Sez Go Big or Go Home

October 20, 2009

Oy. Product managers create business cases and business plans all the time. The Cranky PM has created and seen a bajillion of them in her day. Lots.
But, cripes, so many of them suck. In particular, so many business cases use a device that is a major peeve of the Cranky Product Manager. Oh yes, you know it. You’ve [...]

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10 Things The Cranky Product Manager Has Learned About Product Management

September 29, 2009

Here’s some stuff the Cranky PM has learned during her (not that) long and (wicked) illustrious career.
Readers, add your own “10 things” that you’ve learned about product management in the comments.
1. On overly-complex pricing models: If the sales force wants you to give them a training class on the pricing model, then your pricing model [...]

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The Cranky Product Manager Speaks

September 3, 2009

The Cranky Product Manager has gone all new-agey — doing yoga and eating organic food and crap like that…rethinking life, trying to think positive (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”) and all. (What’s next? Macrame?)
Anyway, perhaps as a result, the Cranky Product Manager’s body has become less poluted and [...]

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Guest Post: The Cranky Analyst Wants Everyone To Stop Yelling At Each Other

August 5, 2009

Today we have an excellent guest post from a professional ho-bag. No, not Lady Gaga, nor Paris Hilton, but an IT Industry Analyst! You know, one of those coin-operated Gardener / Forest Ranger types.
The Cranky PM feels positively DIRTY publishing this, but it is very excellently written, quite cranky, and pretty durn funny (O-holes! *snort*).
——————–
Here’s [...]

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Guest Post: The Cranky Marketer Part 3 – The Problem with Product Management

July 15, 2009

Yeah, yeah, the Cranky Product Manager is wicked delinquent in posting Part 3 by the Cranky Marketer.
You remember the Cranky Marketer, don’t you? That dude/dudette who thinks that in general Marketing is too busy with tactical crap to learn about and understand the customer, and that therefore Marketing’s failure to do its own job is [...]

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