Stuff Every Cranky Product Manager Needs

Behold the list of gizmos that make The Cranky Product Manager’s professional life a bit more bearable – things that the Cranky Product Manager honestly uses almost every single day and swears by. And yes, they are nearly all gizmos. Because she is a geek at heart. Most support the business travel lifestyle that PMs take part in 25-50% of the time.

First, a BlackBerry. The Cranky Product Manager likes the BlackBerry Curve the best, but will admit the Storm looks cool. Why BlackBerry? Because it is so much easier than a laptop at dealing with the onslaught of >200 daily emails that come in at all hours of the night and day from all corners of the world. When her Cranky Kid wakes up screaming “MOMMMMYYYYYYY” at 3 am, she goes help him find his stuffed monkey, and then handles about 10 emails. Awesome-ness. Oh, while the Cranky Product Manager loves her BlackBerry (she’s been loyal for many years), she knows some PMs prefer the iPhone – also an excellent Christmas gift.

Next, the Cranky Product Manager recommends this handy little MP3 voice recorder (with a built-in USB stick) and its companion telephone microphone and case. The CPM uses it to record all interviews with customers (with their consent) – both in-person and over the phone. The telephone microphone fits in your ear, and then you hold your phone to that ear. Anyway, this gizmo is the secret of the Cranky PM’s credibility with Development. They think she has a photographic memory because she is able to recall all manner of obscure detail about customer problems and use cases. Not so – the CPM just listens to these recordings over and over during her commute. She’s got those customer stories memorized.

Another excellent present for your product manager is a telephone headset for his home phone. More than likely, he has many late night conference calls to Asia, early morning calls to Europe, or both. A headset would greatly improve his mood as he takes these calls in his pajamas and prevent neck pain.

Want to improve your PM’s mood even MORE during the above-mentioned early-morning and wicked late conference calls? Get her a decent espresso machine. Because the Cranky Product Manager has a kid and no time for that elaborate espresso ritual – grinding beans, packing grounds, steaming milk, cleaning the damn machine, etc. – she recommends a Nespresso machine that uses espresso pods. Push one button and out pops a very good cup of espresso in about 30 seconds. If the Cranky Product Manager wants a latte, she presses one button on the silver frother thingie to get perfectly foamy milk.

OK, PM-LADIES-IN-DA-HOUSE, listen up. You need this rolling laptop bag. Someone should buy you one for the Holidays. The Cranky Product Manager loves this bag so much she writes it creepy fan mail and draws “CPM+Sassy Laptop Bag” in tiny hearts on her book covers. Why? Because 1) It comes it colors besides black (green! red! orange! pink! tan! blue!), 2) It’s roomy – it can hold TWO laptops, a mess of power adaptors plus papers, 3) It’s wicked durable – the Cranky Product Manager has beat up on this bag for years now, and 4) It fits under an airplane seat.

Next – an iGo Everywhere power adaptor, with the combo wall/airplane/car charger and tips that can charge your laptops, phone, iPod, etc… Lightens the load and has a nice long extension cord.

A BlackBerry keyboard. Help your favorite PM get some real work done like editing documents -while stuck waiting on the airport tarmac.

Also recommended is a roll-aboard suitcase that can deal with the abuse of traveling 5-6 days a month for years on end. Alas, the Cranky Product Manager cannot recommend such a suitcase at this time. Her case with the 10 year warranty gave it up after just 3 years.