cranky+product manager

OK, so the Cranky Product Manager has been a big lazy pants lately.  No posts for over 10 days and then relying on guest posts for the past few weeks.  What can she say?  She’s drowning under a pile of work, dealing with her frakin’ taxes (which were WICKED complicated this year), and adjusting to being a de facto single parent (very glad that Darling Husband has a new job, but its hours are long – the kid only sees him for only about 30 minutes total during the week).

Ok, so sorry. Really. Mea Culpa. OK, sue me, why don’t you?

Anyway, the CPM still doesn’t have time to write a riveting post.  But she does want to tell a certain cranky guest poster where he can put his whiney rants.

To the Cranky Marketer (part 1 and part 2):

Oh, boo effing hoo.  Poor you.  Really, how OUTRAGEOUS for people at your company to expect you and your fellow MARKETERS to actually know something about MARKETS and customers.

Yes, blame your lack of basic knowledge of market segments and customers on the product managers — that’s the ticket!  Blame everyone else at the company because you  are consumed with tactical activities and don’t ever get to strategic activities.  SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN AND A HALF.

Seriously, WTF?   Part one is one of the whiniest posts ever.  You’re in Marketing, genius.  If there is one position that EVERYONE would agree should know something about the market, IT’S MARKETING.  And if there is one role in the company that has latitude to think and act strategically, IT’S MARKETING.

You think Sales or Engineering do?

Do you think Product Management is any more isolated than Marketing from the crushing backlog of tactical activities?

No way, dude.  The Cranky Product Manager’s to-do list typically has 100+ activities on it, 95% of which are tactical. And BOY, is it tempting to skip those 5% strategic activities that help the Cranky Product Manager learn about the customer, identify new market needs, and keep on top of new market trends and what competitors are doing. But somehow, like ALL decent product managers, the Cranky Product Manager manages to carve out the time for the strategic.  Even though she really doesn’t have the time.  Yes, it means tactical balls are dropping all over the place. And that she gets bitched at and whatever by Marketing Weenies who want to collect their salaries while having someone else (namely, the Cranky PM) do their work.  But despite all that, the MOST IMPORTANT STUFF – the strategic stuff – gets done.

Marketing Weenie, maybe you could try a similar approach?  CARVE OUT THE TIME for the strategic.  Stop whining and just make it happen. Suck it up.  Do you own job, and stop expecting the Cranky Product Manager to spoon feed you market knowledge. Go get some of your own. Stop blaming others.  NO MORE EXCUSES.  Be a BUCK-STOPPER, not a buck passer….  You get the point. (Well, maybe not – you do seem like the kind of Marketing guy who needs things phrased 40 different ways before you get it.)

Oh, and does telling you this make the Cranky Product Manager an “arrogant asshole who does nothing but look down on Marketing”???  Perhaps, although usually the Cranky Product Manager is called an inveterate bitch or a c-word, not an asshole.   But anyway, IF YOU DID YOUR DAMN JOB SHE WOULDN’T LOOK DOWN ON YOU.  In fact, she’d fall down on her knees and thank Sweet Cheezus Christ for sending her a Marketing Weenie who wasn’t preoccupied with colors, website fonts and product names (should this one be the “Express Edition” , the “Personal Edition” or the “Web 2.0 Clusterfuck Edition”???) and instead actually offered some STRATEGIC insight.

Oh and, for the record, the Cranky Product Manager thinks the Cranky Marketer is pretty atypical.  She doesn’t know any other marketers who (overtly, anyway) blame their lack of market knowledge on product management.  Even the weeniest and whiniest of Marketing Weenies typically see it as their own responsibility to actively acquire market knowledge and not just be passive recipients.

—–

OK, the Cranky Product Manager has to get back to work.  She’ll take on the frakin’ Cranky Sales Engineer and Cranky Engineer later.

{ 17 comments }