(OK, another 5 minute Power Post. An attempt to break through the procrastination and writer’s block that has been plaguing the author of this blog.)
The Cranky PM has recently become obsessed with the TV Show Hoarders. If you are unfamiliar, it is a reality show that profiles people who hoard stuff — tons of worthless artifacts and even unsanitary crap (literally crap! think rotten food! old diapers! full cat boxes!) — until the point that they are buried under 10′ mounds of germ-ridden garbage, their homes are rotting underneath the filth and about to be condemned, Child Protective Services is about to take their children away, and Animal Control is confiscating their pets.
It is super depressing.
Why the Cranky Product Manager watches, she does not know. She doesn’t exactly “like” the show. But it is kind of addictive.
She guesses some of the allure is that it makes the Cranky PM feel like she’s pretty damn organized and productive compared to these people. Isn’t that cruel, though? Taking comfort in the misery of others? Plus, really, what is the great achievement in keeping a nicer environment than people who have a bona fide mental illness? So, the fact that she watches this show should tell you, Gentle Readers, something not-so-nice about the Cranky PM’s lackluster character.
But ANYWAYS… Like EVERYTHING (pretty much), it reminded the Cranky Product Manager just a teensy bit of life at DysfunctoSoft.
(Watch with utter amazement, as the Cranky PM attempts to segue – like a crappy local newscaster – to a completely unrelated topic).
How? Because DysfunctoSoft has NEVER, EVER thrown out a feature, truly de-supported a platform, or dropped an obsolete product. No matter how decrepit, bug-ridden and just FOUL that hardly-used-but-now-completely-obsolete feature is. No matter how ridiculously costly it is to continue supporting that horrible Active X plug-in from 10 years ago. Who really cares if the thing integrates with Adobe Reader 4 anymore????
The product documentation is clogged up to the point of complete obscurity with all this crap. You can’t read it and understand what the product actually does! The price list is out of control and so freaking confusing because it has tons of space devoted to products and licensing options that no one ever uses (or if they do use them, let’s face it, they’re freaks). The automated test suite – which is supposed to run every 6 hours — now takes over 30 hours to run.
WHY? Because DysfunctoSoft is a HOARDER. Not all Software Companies are. But there are more than a few out there.
Just remember, if you refuse to pick up your stinkin’ house now and then – and clear out the dead products, obsolete and bug-ridden features, and unsanitary filth out of your product line – well, one day it will collapse under its own weight, with you inside.!
(well maybe not, but didn’t that sound dramatic)?
(OK, actually went 10 minutes on this one. So not quite a Power Post, but whatev….)
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