The Cranky Product Manager has been neglectful of this here blog, once again. Good thing she’s not being paid to do it or anything, or else she’d be so totally fired.
Anyway, to break through the Huge Writer’s Block that has been in her way for the last 7 weeks or so, the Cranky PM is taking on a Big Ass Writing Challenge! To write an entire blog post in a mere 5 minutes! She’s calling it — wait for it — POWER POSTING! (you can tell she’s in software marketing because she thinks her completely boring, uncreative title is totally wicked awesome).
So here we go. And just a warning, it probably won’t be funny because the Cranky PM ain’t no Chris Rock — she usually thinks of her jokes about an hour too late.
THINGS THE CRANKY PM HAS OBSERVED ABOUT THE SOFTWARE INDUSTRY
1. As annoying as those Sales Droids can be, they sure are fun to party with! And there’s nothing like having a conversation with someone who can actually, well, CONVERSE. Not to say your average developer can’t, but well, your average developer can’t. Unless it is about design patterns or Star Trek. And speaking of Star Trek, OMFG isn’t the new James T. Kirk, actor Chris Pine, just HOT? Yum.
2. Ever notice that at the Big All-Hands Company Meetings, that the Product Managers always ask WAY more than their share of the questions?
3. The Cranky PM has yet to meet a tech writer who can write a decent white paper. Didn’t these people ever try to convince their mothers to let them stay out late with the rest of those hard-partying High School Math-letes? (Or was that just the Cranky PM?) Is writing PERSUASIVELY really that hard?
4. Even though DysfunctoSoft is supposedly “Agile”, the Process Hawks still require about 2 man-weeks of documentation with N levels of sign offs, just to add a single check-box to a page in the UI.
5. If you’re a software company that actually ships working product to paying customers, don’t acquire a start-up whose founders are some professor and/or a collection of former grad students. They’ll never actually ship anything (they have no idea how to), and within one year all those brilliant minds you acquired will be out the door, looking for work at another academic-oriented outfit that never ships anything.
6. Marketing Weenies: please don’t post copies of press releases to the company “blog” and claim you’re doing “Social Media.” Please.
OK, five minutes are up. Later.
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