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software engineers

Reader Eric submitted this addendum to the original “The 6 Types of Software Engineer.” The Cranky Product Manager liked it so much, she changed the name of the series to “7 Types of Software Engineers.”

Submit captions for this cartoon of “The Clockwork Mouse” in this post’s comments. And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…

The Clockwork Mouse

Unlike the other types of software engineers, the Clockwork mouse is most often female. The Mouse works consistently, quietly, and diligently on any project, sub-project, or tiny little feature that is given to her. She is the perfect engineer for that boring file conversion job.

Distinguishing Characteristics

  • Rarely leaves the safe haven of the cube. Must be forced to join meetings.
  • People often ask how long the Clockwork Mouse has worked there when she is spotted (briefly) outside the confines of her cube. Very often, the Mouse has been with the company longer than the person asking.
  • Often talks with a very meek voice and is unwilling to contradict anybody, even when she clearly knows the right answer.
  • Nobody knows what this engineer does with her personal time.
  • Will consistently finish projects on time, but in the most bland manner as possible.
  • Her sense of interface design is non-existent. The interface will either be horribly complex and confusing or so primitive that it will make you wonder if if a C: prompt would be better.
  • She often codes something completely different from the specs because she is too afraid to ask questions.

Project Pitfalls
You may not know this engineer is actually on your project.

Achilles Heal
Any type of social interaction will cause so much stress that the Clockwork Mouse might blow a spring.

Best Bet
Assign non-interface related projects that are intricate, yet boring. The mouse will thrive in this environment. QA is another good bet.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Submit captions for this cartoon of “The Moverick” in this post’s comments.  And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…

The Maverick

The Maverick will do your feature IF he can do it in Ruby on Rails. Or Haskell. Or Python. Or <other hot new language that his peers don’t know and therefore can’t evolve or maintain>.

And, NO, this type of Maverick has nothing to do with John McCain or Sarah Palin. Well, probably not.

Distinguishing Characteristics:

  • Smart. Creative.
  • Doesn’t want to build on or maintain the existing codebase (because it’s a spaghetti nightmare AND because it’s written in Java, which is sooo passe), so he’ll roll his own. This will include the creation of an exotic protocol and adapter layer so that the old code can call his code.
  • Dependable — if you let him do it his way.
  • Magically finds his way off the project if he is not permitted to build in his preferred language.

Project Pitfalls:
Oh, you’ll get your feature all right, and you’ll get it on time and it’ll probably be done well and it may even delight you and your users, but once that guy leaves someone is going to have to refactor it in order to evolve it. And we all know there are few words a PM likes less than “refactor”.

Achilles Heel:
Back in my hometown, we used to say “That dog won’t hunt” when referring to someone who simply and inexplicably will not do the obvious, such as build on the tech stack into which he was hired.

Do you need this engineer?
Maybe you could aim this smart engineer at a custom one-off or a stand alone widget that doesn’t need to be evolved or maintained. No.

Best Bet:
Be prepared to make your perfectly reasonable case for building the feature in the existing language in a public forum. Make said case without emotion, and in front of his peers & manager because, trust me, they don’t want to support his alien creation any more than you want to.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Caption Contest: Offshore (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)

October 29, 2008

Submit captions for this cartoon of “Offshore” in this post’s comments. And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…
Offshore
Where are these guys, anyway, and what time is it there? Who knows; you always have to count the time difference on your fingers.
But anyway, they seem very nice, and [...]

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Caption Contest: The Teflon-gineer (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)

October 29, 2008

Submit captions for this cartoon of “The Teflong-gineer” in this post’s comments.  And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…
The Teflon-gineer
The Teflon-gineer will do anything to reduce his work. If you’ve asked for a sports car, this engineer will try his/her damnedest to meet your requirements with a Model [...]

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Caption Contest: The Great One (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)

October 29, 2008

Submit captions for this cartoon of “The Great One” in this post’s comments. And don’t forget to submit captions for the other Software Engineer Types as well…
The Great One
Where did this engineer come from, and can you have five more of him?

Distinguishing Characteristics:

Always delivers on schedule, even when unforeseen code bottlenecks require more time [...]

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Caption Contest: The Veteran (The Seven Types of Software Engineers)

October 29, 2008

Fun, fun! Submit your captions in the comments for this cartoon of “The Veteran.” And don’t forget to provide captions for the other Software Engineers Types too!
The Veteran
He’s been here for five years, and he’ll be here for five more.
Distinguishing Characteristics

Cranky.
For some reason, he’s permitted to use profanity in meetings and otherwise [...]

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Caption Contest! (7 Types of Engineers)

October 29, 2008

Remember that “6 Types of Software Engineers” post from way back, authored by “Another PM”? Well, a most excellent reader named HW drew some WICKED AWESOME cartoons of each.  PLUS, another wicked awesome reader, Eric, added a 7th type of Engineer – The Clockwork Mouse.
So, now we’re going to have some fun — help the [...]

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