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Cranky Tweets for Week ending 3/20/2010

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 20, 2010

in Cranky Tweets

  1. The Silicon Valley weather is so wonderful today that even the cranky product manager is having difficulty being cranky....
  2. Let's start a vicious rumor - that @TondinBanks is the "real" crankypm. He sounds like it, anyway. 11:35 AM Mar 17th via web
  3. RT @chadmyers @crankypm like museums of stupid inventions from late 1800's, in 100 yrs there'll be museums of stupid #startup ideas of today 
  4. RT @sctechman @crankypm If they call themselves "visionary" they usually aren't. #prodmgmt
  5. Oh fantastic. The Cranky PM was just told her summer intern req is being filled w the CEO's partyboy son. Why is she not ecstatic. #prodmgmt
  6. OK, startup weenies, raise ur hands - how many think your technology is "disruptive?" What? All of you? Guess what? YOU'RE WRONG. #prodmgmt
  7. Every time a self-styled "visionary" claims he has a "disruptive technology," the crankypm grinds a millimeter off her teeth. #prodmgmt
  8. RT a2d2@crankypm Marketing to "everyone" is NP Complete and deserves a "if you figured out a good way to do it I have a Turing Award for you".
  9. RT chadmyers @crankypm VC funded startups are barely distinguishable from criminal organizations and often involve more lying and distrust.
  10. Advice to PMs: Make sure the #startup founder is not a freakin' lunatic before joining. Or a criminal. #prodmgmt
  11. @MJM_PM - Hope you are enjoying the mug! Tell your friends (if u have any) to BUY one! :-) http://www.cafepress.com/crankypm
  12. @benjaminhill - Hope you are enjoying the mug! Tell your friends (if u have any) to BUY one! :-) http://www.cafepress.com/crankypm
  13. 25-yo VC-spreadsheet Boy, ur suggestion of targetting "everyone" is just what crankypm would expect fr someone w/o operational experience.
  14. V irritated when 25 yo rich kid w no op experience claims he's a Venture Capitalist. Wrong-o, dude! Ur the spreadsheet jockey! #prodmgmt
  15. Cranky PM's imitation of VCs: "synergy blah blah business model blah blah Twitter blah Google acquisition blah green social n/w" #prodmgmt
  16. Bunch o suntanned white male robots w short hair, bluetooths, blue button-down shirts & khaki pants have arrived. VC invasion! #prodmgmt
  17. Betting that all the "most extroverted introverts" (aka #prodmgmt) are EXHAUSTED after the intense social interaction of #pcamp10.
  18. Had a great #pcamp10! The crankypm thx the organizers and sponsors. 'Till next year.... #prodmgmt
  19. Another free Cranky pm mug for #pcamp10 attendees. Behind the "It's Y!ou" desk at top of stairs, 2nd floor. First person gets. 
  20. The cranky pm is having her own #pcamp10 raffle. Left a free cranky mug in the room with the pool tbls under a chair. First person gets.
  21. Headin' to pcamp... If the Cranky Kid would just stop melting down and would hang out nicely with the babysitter. #prodmgmt

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Cranky Tweets for Week Ending 3/13/2010

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 13, 2010

in Cranky Tweets

  1. The Cranky Product Manager will see you all at P-Camp Silicon Valley tomorrow! #prodmgmt
  2. RT narahari @crankypm did you already tell folks that a Beta should have participants? - its not a Beta just because you did PR #prodmgmt
  3. Latest: Hint #3 for dumb-ass PMs: if you're going to have a Beta, maybe you should at least TRY to collect the Beta feedback. #prodmgmt
  4. @amritamathur - Surely you jest. Have yet to meet robot Devs that blindly accept orders. http://tinyurl.com/yazxcuc #prodmgmt
  5. Newsflash for dumbass PMs: Devs don't regard ur req doc as golden tablets brought down the mtn. 
  6. The Cranky PM refuses to put dudes leaping over bar charts in her powerpoint presos. Is this why she is not VP yet? #prodmgmt
  7. Hint for dumb-ass PMs: if your product is painful to use, don't offer a 30-day free trial. #prodmgmt
  8. @a2d2 - In software, it's more typical for PMs to NOT handle P&L. But PMs should understand financials of their products regardless.
  9. New cranky #prodmgmt post: The Cranky PM on “Been There, Done That” http://crankypm.com/2010/03/cranky-pm/
  10. RT TondinBanks Listen here Product Mkt Mgr, you do not get a say in UI Design of my solution. Get over it! #grumpy #prodmgmt #prodmktmgmt
  11. Sweet Cheezus, Cranky PM needs to diversify her friends. Her PM buddies debate endlessly abt where #prodmgmt should report into. Boring! 
  12. SERIOUS bone to pick with the Intuit TurboTax team. Send their #prodmgmt to the Cranky PM's office immediately! Its AMT calcs are all effed! 
  13. Is the term "serial entrepreneur" the new "douchebag"? The cranky pm thinks yes... #prodmgmt

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Cranky Tweets for the Week Ending 3/4/2010

by The Cranky Product Manager on March 4, 2010

in Cranky Tweets

  1. Note 2 CEO: Don’t use #prodmgmt as a dumping ground for ur incompetent buddies that sales/mktg/support/dev tried to fire.
  2. @Jim_Holland – ?!?!?!??!?! wow. The crankypm is against demo-pimposity for PMs, but seriously LEARN TO USE YOUR EFFING PRODUCT.
  3. The CPM is SHOCKED & HORRIFIED by the sheer number of product managers she’s met who can’t use their own products. DISGRACEFUL.
  4. The Cranky Product Manager has found her cyberspace twin: @TheRealSWMBO – Separated at birth?
  5. #prodmgmt rule of thumb #2: don’t let that pompous bearded tech lead near the customer. He’ll tell them they r too stupid to be a cust.
  6. Cranky #ProdMgmt Rule of Thumb #1: If u want customers to upgrade from free to pay-for version, the pay-for version had better be better!
  7. The CrankyPM is pretty sure the entire Bible was written faster than #prodmktg takes to write a 2-page brochure.
  8. Once again, @crankypm is spending a night writing own 2-pg brochure cuz ProdMktg claims it would take them 12(!) wks. #prodmgmt
  9. Hey, don’t be a “take-take-taker” all the frakin’ time! Volunteer at PCAMP SV &GIVE for a change. http://tinyurl.com/yzdo593 #prodmgmt

  10. @pras26 – On PDMA in general, the Cranky PM is not familiar. They have a nice scholarly journal abt prod dev. That’s abt all she knows.
  11. @pras26 – dont’ know if NPDP from PDMA is fluff, but it is definitely not well known. See my survey: http://tinyurl.com/8y2ug7
  12. The Worst Positioning Stmt is trumped AGAIN! http://crankypm.com/2010/02/prototype-worst-positioning-statement/#comment-4140. #prodmgmt

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One Funny Dude

by The Cranky Product Manager on February 24, 2009

in Reviews & Plugs

If you follow the Cranky Product Manager on Twitter, you probably know that she adores onthefringe, a “VC-backed, start-up CEO, sharing day-to-day insights in the day-to-day life of a start-up.”  He(?)/she(?) often shares “advice” for product managers.

Funny stuff.

And NOT the Cranky Product Manager is included in this camp (given that she’s married and all that), but she knows several people who would TOTALLY Twitter-make-out with onthefringe if given the opportunity.  That’s how funny he/she is.

Check it out.

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